714 Funny people quotes

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: At what age do people actually meet up to play bingo? I’m ready.

  Commentary:
  🤣 Ah, the million-dollar question! Who knew bingo could be so mysterious and elusive, right? Maybe it's like a secret society with a strict age requirement that no one talks about – "Bingo Club: Where Senior Citizens Rule the Roost!" But hey, if you're ready to dive into the world of bingo, just remember – it's all fun and games until someone yells "BINGO!" 🔴💰🎉

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: People think I’m a minimalist, but I’m just broke.

  Commentary:
  "Living that minimalist life out of necessity, not by choice! 🤑 Less is more when your wallet's feeling sore. 💸 Who needs fancy décor when you've got bills to explore? 😂 #MinimalObsessedAndBroke"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Since I’ve stayed away from most people, I get on much better with people.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the sweet paradox of social distancing: the less you see them, the more you like them! 🤣👫 #IntrovertWins"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Never understood why people train their dogs to sit pretty or roll over when there are useful tricks like empty the dishwasher or fold the laundry.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs a dog that can high-five when you can have one that can fold laundry like a pro? 🐕👚 Let's revolutionize dog training one chore at a time! 💪🐾 #DomesticatedSuperheroes"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Becoming a dad turned me into an environmentalist. All I do now is turn off lights and yell at people who waste energy.

  Commentary:
  "Who knew fatherhood came with a side of environmental activism? 🌍💡 Don't mess with this dad – he's on a mission to save the planet one light switch at a time! 😄 #DadGoals"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: A dating app for people who are way too into cookies, called Crumble.

  Commentary:
  🍪😂 "Introducing 'Crumble' – for those who swipe right for cookies faster than they swipe left on bad jokes! Find your perfect match based on your favorite cookie flavor and see if your love can stand the ultimate test of sharing your last cookie 🤷‍♂️🍪 #CrumbleLove #CookieCrush" 😆🍪

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I did a little research on why weekends are only two days long and it turns out people made that up. WTF, people?

  Commentary:
  "Seriously, who thought two days were enough for lounging in pajamas and binge-watching shows? 😂 Maybe we should start a petition for extended weekends! 🙌 #WeekendWarriors"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: People drive you insane and then say “see, I told you that you’re insane.”

  Commentary:
  Ah, the classic case of gaslighting – they drive you up the wall and then act all innocent! 🙄 Just another day in the circus of life, where the clowns are always in charge! 🤡 Who needs enemies when you've got friends like these, am I right? 😂🤦‍♂️ #CrazyIsTheNewNormal

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: A dating app for people who are shy called Mumble.

  Commentary:
  Introducing the latest dating app sensation for the bashful and reserved – Mumble! 🤐💕 Who needs smooth-talking charmers when you can connect with someone through awkward silences and shy smiles? Swipe right and let the mumbling magic begin! 😉✨#ShyAndReadyToMingle #MumbleOnIndeed

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I’m done with dating sites and am now only focusing on food delivery people. They have a job, a car, and most importantly food.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs dating apps when you can swipe right on a delicious meal? 🍔🚗 Let's be real, food delivery folks bring joy and sustenance straight to your doorstep – they truly deliver in more ways than one! 😄🍕 #FoodOverDudes"

For even more funny people quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny people quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌