Funny quotes person Page 6

146 Funny person quotes

The first person to realize you can eat bone marrow must have really hated that cow.

Funny Quotes Jan 21, 2025

I bet the person who named the fireplace also named the waterfall.

Funny Quotes Jan 21, 2025

Relationships: Because sometimes destroying your life is a two person job.

Funny Quotes Jan 21, 2025

If you ever get a chance to date a cute person for one day, where will you take me?

Funny Quotes Jan 21, 2025

I’m not a morning person. I’m not even an afternoon person. I pretty much start functioning after 6pm.

Funny Quotes Jan 21, 2025

The person opposite me has a donut. I do not have a donut. That should be my donut. This person is now my arch nemesis.

Funny Quotes Jan 21, 2025

I just want what every middle-aged person wants: to remember what it was that I wanted.

Funny Quotes Jan 21, 2025

Why can’t you just be happy for me and then go home and talk behind my back later like a normal person?

Funny Quotes Jan 21, 2025

The first person to see a peacock spread his tail probably had a heart attack.

Funny Quotes Jan 21, 2025

If I were a bird, you’d be the first person I’d shit on.

Funny Quotes Jan 20, 2025

Don’t you hate it when you offer help and the other person says yes?

Funny Quotes Jan 20, 2025

If you don’t know how many x-rays it takes before a person develops super powers, should you really be in a medical profession?

Funny Quotes Jan 20, 2025

A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children.

Funny Quotes Jan 20, 2025

All positions for annoying people in my life have been filled. Applicants need not apply, thank you.

Funny Quotes Jan 20, 2025

I’m a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

Funny Quotes Jan 20, 2025

8 planets, 204 countries, thousands of islands, 7 seas, 8 billion people, and I’m single.

Funny Quotes Jan 20, 2025

It takes only one person in this world to make you smile. It’s called a plastic surgeon.

Funny Quotes Jan 20, 2025

You now have the chance to be the first person to send me nudes.

Funny Quotes Jan 20, 2025

Any room can be a bathroom if you hate the person who’s house you’re in.

Funny Quotes Jan 20, 2025

To the person who stole my place in the queue. I’m after you now.

Funny Quotes Jan 20, 2025

I hate it when I imagine how a conversation will go and then in the actual conversation the person goes off script. That’s not your line, man.

Funny Quotes Jan 20, 2025