Home » Funny Person Quotes » Page 7

172 Funny person quotes

Trending Funny Person Quotes 🔥

I’m a “I have an appointment later, so I can’t do anything else for the rest of the day” kind of person.
The first person to see a peacock spread his tail probably had a heart attack.
Autocorrect is like a tiny person inside your phone that sometimes gets drunk and says the dumbest things.
Old people get so mad when you’re young and tired.
Any room can be a bathroom if you hate the person who’s house you’re in.

More funny person quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: Person: gives compliment. Me: let me give you a brief synopsis of why you are sorely mistaken.

Commentary:
"Person: *showering me with compliments* Me: Hold on, let me just sprinkle a little reality on this 🌧️💁‍♂️ #HumbleBragging"
5 months ago
Share →: The person who invented autocorrect should burn in hello.

Commentary:
Oh, the irony of autocorrect turning 'hell' into 'hello' strikes again! 🔥😂 Looks like the inventor got a taste of their own medicine there! #autocorrectfail
5 months ago
Share →: Women are so hot, I wish they were good people.

Commentary:
"Women are like spicy peppers 🌶️ – hot and bold, but sometimes they bring tears to your eyes! 😂 #Can'tHaveItAll"
5 months ago
Share →: My signature move is waving at someone who is waving at the person behind me.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic maneuver of unintentional social awkwardness! 🙋‍♂️🙋‍♀️ Always keeping on your toes by keeping everyone guessing. Who needs a wave back, anyway? 🤷‍♂️😄"
5 months ago
Share →: Flirting is easy until you have to flirt with the person you like.

Commentary:
Flirting: Level Expert 💁‍♂️
Flirting with someone you like: Suddenly forget how to human 🙈💔
Who knew swooning could come with a side of clumsiness… 😂✨
5 months ago
Share →: You can tell a lot about a person by breaking into their home and going through their belongings.

Commentary:
"Remember, folks, breaking and entering is not the recommended method of getting to know your neighbors 👀🚪🕵️‍♂️. Stick to a friendly chat over the fence instead! 😅🏡 #NeighborhoodWatch #PersonalSpace"
5 months ago
Share →: How dare you? I’m literally the sweetest most rage filled person on earth.

Commentary:
"Wow, that's a unique combination! 🍭😡 It's like a sour candy with a raging filling. Who knew sweetness and rage could coexist so harmoniously! 🤣 #SweetButSavage"
5 months ago
Share →: My favorite voicemails are those where the person doesn’t leave one.

Commentary:
"Ah, the sweet sound of silence… 🤫 When a voicemail goes unclaimed, it's like a mysterious message from the void – truly a masterpiece of communication art! 🎨 Who needs words when you've got the powerful absence of them? 😂 #LostVoices"
5 months ago
Share →: The police said I was a ‘suspect’, but I prefer being called a ‘person of interest’.

Commentary:
"Ah, the fine art of rebranding oneself from suspect to person of interest! It's all about keeping up appearances, darling 💁‍♂️🕵️‍♂️. Who knew a change in title could make such a difference in the eyes of the law? Detective fashion advice: always look good, even when suspected of looking bad! 🔍👀 #GlamCriminal"
5 months ago
Share →: I’d like to meet the person who decided that if you wanted to get married fast it had to be done by Elvis.

Commentary:
Well, you have to admit, only Elvis could make marriage seem as electrifying as a Vegas show 🕺🎲💒 Who wouldn't want to say "I do" with a side of "Love Me Tender" and a sprinkle of sequins? Thank you, thank you very much! 🕺🕺🎶