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184 Funny perspective quotes

It is a mistake to say that the people who live a hundred years from now will have nothing to laugh at. They can laugh at us.

2 weeks ago

Some days you’re the bat, some days you’re the ball.

2 weeks ago

Some days you’re the shit and some days you’re the fan.

2 weeks ago

If you turn your phone upside down, the stock market is actually doing quite well.

2 weeks ago

Before the internet, people thought that there was only one idiot per town. We were so wrong.

2 weeks ago

I don’t mind being the villain in your story because you’re a clown in mine.

2 weeks ago

Having a blocked nose really makes you appreciate the finer things in life, like breathing normally.

2 weeks ago

Cloud 9 is a very high place to fall from.

3 weeks ago

Being gracefully insane is the secret to staying somewhat sane in an insane world.

1 month ago

Your life can’t fall apart if you never had it together.

1 month ago

I worry a lot about the wild animals in my neighborhood, but I’m beginning to think they don’t worry about me.

1 month ago

We should start referring to age as “levels.” So when you’re level 80, it sounds a lot cooler than just being an older person.

1 month ago

A person that weights 200 pounds on Earth weighs 76 pounds on Mars. So I’m not overweight, I’m on the wrong planet.

1 month ago

Aging gracefully is like getting steamrolled gracefully, you should really be screaming.

1 month ago

“Grey’s Anatomy” but it’s told entirely through the lens of the hospital’s HR department.

1 month ago

Of all the things to lose why couldn’t it have been my appetite and not my mind.

1 month ago

One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.

1 month ago

I’m not like other teenagers, I’m 51.

1 month ago

If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out.

1 month ago

When life gives you lemons maybe think to yourself, “that’s really quite remarkable given how far I live from a climate capable of growing citrus.”

1 month ago

Some people spend a fortune so they can circle the world. I drink some beer and the world circles around me.

1 month ago

I am convinced that size matters, especially when it comes to the heart.

1 month ago

It is only when a mosquito lands on your testicles that you realize there is always a way to solve problems without using violence.

1 month ago

I didn’t lose an hour of sleep. The hour of sleep lost me.

1 month ago

Don’t worry. You’re exactly where you should be in life. Because you’ve made horrible choices.

2 months ago

Cartoons make it look like getting stabbed in the butt with a pitchfork would be no big deal, but I beg to differ.

2 months ago

When God closes a door, he opens a window. Unfortunately, we are in a submarine.

2 months ago

I don’t care what other people think of me, at least mosquitoes find me attractive.

2 months ago

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.

2 months ago

My last straw is way longer than I thought.

2 months ago