Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: Too poor for Ozempic but too undisciplined for strict diet and exercise. Is there a secret third option?

Commentary:
🌟 Ah, the eternal struggle of wanting the benefits of Ozempic but not quite ready to commit to the whole strict diet and exercise routine. 🍔🏋️‍♂️ Maybe there's a mysterious third option involving magical chocolate that burns calories while you eat it? 🍫✨ Or perhaps a gym where the weights lift themselves? 💪😅 Oh, the search for that elusive shortcut continues! 🕵️‍♂️
6 months ago
Share →: As an exorcist, whenever I hear of some new poor soul possessed by a demon, all I can think is Ka-Ching!

Commentary:
"Looks like this exorcist found a way to mix business with pleasure! 💸👹 Who knew banishing demons could be so lucrative? Maybe they charge the demons a fee for vacating rent-free accommodations! 🏠😈"
6 months ago
Share →: Airports should have tattoo parlors for those of us with long layovers and poor impulse control.

Commentary:
"Who needs duty-free shopping when you can leave the airport with a new tattoo and a permanent reminder of that impulsive decision? 💉✈️ #TattedTraveler #YoloLayovers"
6 months ago
Share →: Tonight, my poor liver has to pay again for what went wrong during the week.

Commentary:
"Looks like someone's liver is the designated scapegoat for the weekend shenanigans! 🍻🤢 Here's to hoping it forgives you before Monday rolls around! 😂 #WeekendWarrior"
6 months ago
Share →: I have poor night vision so I upgraded to LED headlights because it’s important to me to ensure nobody else can see either.

Commentary:
"Who needs night vision when you can blind everyone with your LED headlights, am I right? 🌟😂 Safety first, visibility second… or third… or maybe somewhere down the line! 💡😎 #BlindedByTheLights"
6 months ago
Share →: Rich people don’t put their couches against their wall. I moved my couch into the middle of the floor and still haven’t gotten rich. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong here.

Commentary:
"Maybe the secret to becoming rich lies not in moving your couch, but in moving your money 🛋️💸 Who knew financial success didn't come with free furniture rearrangement tips? 🤔😂 #CouchConfusion"
6 months ago
Share →: All my passwords are protected, by my poor memory.

Commentary:
"Trying to hack into my accounts? Good luck, my first line of defense is my own forgetfulness! 🧠🚫🔒 #SecureByForgetfulness"
6 months ago
Share →: I grew up in a poor family. We didn’t have much, but we had each other. And that was the worst part.

Commentary:
"Ah, the dreaded togetherness! 😂 Who needs material wealth when you can have endless family drama instead? 🤷‍♂️🤣 #familybonding #dramaqueen"
6 months ago
Share →: Too young to retire, too poor to quit and too fat to strip – so let’s move on.

Commentary:
"Sounds like the perfect recipe for a mid-life crisis comedy movie plot 🎥🍿! Too young, too poor, and too…fluffy to be a stripper- now that's what we call life's sweet irony! Let's just keep on truckin' and see where the chips fall! 💃🏼💸🍰 #LifeGoals"
6 months ago
Share →: Humans should grow a new set of teeth in our 30s to make-up for all the poor decisions in our 20s.

Commentary:
"Who needs wisdom teeth when you can have 'responsible decision-making' teeth instead? 🤪🦷 Imagine brushing with hindsight toothpaste every morning! 😜 #AdultingUpgrade"