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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Doctor: Your body has run out of magnesium. Me: OMg.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

I tried counting sheep so I can fall asleep but that got boring, so I started talking to the shepherd instead.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

If my trainee says “oh God” one more time, he’s going to meet him.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

My psych professor asked if we’d heard of Pavlov. I said, “It rings a bell.” No one laughed; I’m too witty for this class.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

They should make you watch a training video and pass a little test before you’re allowed to touch the office coffee maker.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Auto-correct and I are in a toxic relationship.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Several of my internal organs hurt, but I’m 100% sure it’s not my body trying to tell me something.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

You are closer to the street than you will ever be to any billionaire.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

Took a break from social media because my cat was asleep on my phone.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Please don’t flirt with me. I’m trying not to cheat on my crush who doesn’t like me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,300

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Menstruation is bizarre. It’s like something David Lynch would have came up with.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Forget tequila, I’m at the age where you can wake up with a hangover from Netflix.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I’m a simple person. All I need in life to be happy is to have everything go my way and work out how I want it to.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Tariff this, tariff that. When is somebody gonna tariff my clothes and kiss me?

Just shared via Threads:

If you get bitten by a snake and you’re not sure if it was poisonous, simply wait to see if you die or not. That should give you your answer.

Spotted on TikTok:

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun to not be able to open that drawer.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Just because you haven’t found the right person, doesn’t mean you will.

Just landed via Slack:

Texting my boss to let him know how excited I am for work tomorrow.

Trending via Discord:

I have so much to offer. It’s all bad, but still.

Trending via Facebook:

Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is you’re stupid and you make bad decisions.

Funny puppy quotes

Funny puppy quotes bring endless smiles and tail-wagging joy 🐶✨ Whether you’re a dog lover or just need a mood boost, these playful sayings capture the silly antics and heart-melting moments of our furry friends 🐾😂 Get ready to laugh out loud and share the puppy love with your favorite humans! 🐕💕 #PuppyPower #DoggoDelight

New funny puppy quotes 👇

All funny puppy quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on Reddit this month:

Packed all my meds into one bottle for a trip and accidentally invented the best trail mix.

40 shares on LinkedIn this month:

People keep inviting me to stuff. I miss the pandemic.

100 shares on Messenger this month:

A simple “hi” can be the beginning of two years of therapy.

33 shares on TikTok this month:

The me who snips coupons needs to communicate better with the me who walks into the stores.

58 shares on Reddit this month:

Even when I look up the slang of today’s kids, I still have no idea what it means.

31 shares on Telegram this month:

I’ve accepted I’ll never retire. I’ll be working up until my funeral… probably using a vacation day for it.

68 shares on Snapchat this month:

I get all the cardio I need by running out of patience.

47 shares on WeChat this month:

Every time I have to leave the house and be around people I remember why I hate having to leave the house and be around people.

85 shares on Telegram this month:

The moon is literally dragging the oceans around, and you think your body shouldn’t feel it?

88 shares on Facebook this month:

I hate listening to a rapper that I used to adore, and they just don’t have it anymore.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

How do I tell Instagram I don’t want to see guys almost eaten by gators?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Beer is like the color black: it goes with everything.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t expect everything handed to me, just set it down outside my door.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I used to think adulthood was one crisis after another. I was wrong. Multiple crises. Concurrently. All at once. All the time. Forever.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

This site could use some more people who like to argue about literally anything.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

If you don’t have a favorite spatula yet, you still have some growing up to do.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I went to clean bathroom and I’m 99% sure my kids shoot their toothpaste out of a cannon.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Good news: I set an all time high today! Bad news: It’s my cholesterol.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

And then there are people who can only sleep on their back because their pea brain could slip out of their ear if they lie on their side.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I can’t carpool to work. That’s the time I use to angry scream.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,255

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

“Help us improve Instagram!” Nice try, fix your own damn website.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Me summer vacation planning: I’m going to Europe. Bank account: You’re going camping.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

I think it’s extremely important, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Paycheck hit. I’m at Michaels Arts & Crafts supply store telling them to bring out Michael.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

I know breakfastless behavior when I see it.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

When it rains in New York, the train starts smelling like hamster.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

We need to stop making more Christmas music. We have enough.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

“Topless” doesn’t always mean breasts or a convertible. Sometimes it also means the brain.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Nowadays you don’t even have to go to the zoo. A trip to the mall is enough.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

The only fantasy I have in the bedroom these days is getting 8 hours of sleep.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

The first time I heard “big naturals,” I thought it referred to major outdoor landmarks such as the Grand Canyon or the Great Barrier Reef.

Just landed via YouTube:

Never underestimate my desire at any given moment to go home.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I am staying up till a million o’clock tonight.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Just cleaned out my junk drawer if anyone needs a CD to reinstall Windows 95.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Let’s tell the truth cell phone. I don’t have six missed calls. I have six ignored calls.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Twitter is the black sheep of the web, always in the corner, loudly arguing with itself.

Breaking via WeChat:

First rule for the new year is to not dwell on what went wrong this year.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

The cynicism of those who urge me not to do what I can to help the Nigerian royal family.

Shared recently on Discord:

Instead of writing LOL, I’m going to start writing SALTS (smiled a little, then stopped). It’s more accurate.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

You know it’s been a successful Thanksgiving when your clothes no longer fit.

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