Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Anyone else think it’s weird how cancer kills more people than any other astrological sign.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Is there anyone here old enough to remember when typing was a class in high school?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

So apparently if they ask “do you trust me?”, replying with “well, I trust you to be you” is the incorrect response.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here hating myself more.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Don’t talk to me about regrets if you’ve never had someone’s name tattooed on you.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

As long as you’re still fishing fruit flies out of your drink, you’re not drunk.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

My ex is somewhere telling his new girlfriend how bad I was, and she’s smiling, thinking she made it in life. Two idiots.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

If you ever feel like a failure, just remember, Domino’s tried to open pizza chains in Italy.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

I wish flies spoke English, so I could say, ‘Hey, if you don’t leave right now, I am going to kill you so hard.’

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

It’s a shame that you can’t hold people up to the light like banknotes to see whether they are fake or real.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,546

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

Twitter can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

The best part of Thanksgiving is being with family and friends, and a vast array of pies.

Spotted on Telegram:

My problem is I always think I can get ready in 15 minutes when I have repeatedly proven that I can’t.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Toothpaste sure knows how to ruin whatever you’re drinking.

Just shared via X:

When I’m done eating… I have to show my hands to my cat, like I’m a blackjack dealer.

Just shared via YouTube:

Where do they get the seeds to plant seedless watermelons?

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I’m still waiting for the day my parents will say, “It’s all fake, we are millionaires, this was just to teach you to be humble”.

Just shared via Instagram:

Monday? But, I wasn’t even finished with Saturday yet.

Seen just now on Slack:

I wish British people had subtitles so I knew what they are on about.

Going viral on Twitch:

Hair is washed. I am finally lovable and capable of loving again.

Funny read receipt quotes

Funny read receipt quotes 📲😂 add a hilarious twist to those awkward moments when your message is seen but not replied to! Whether you’re waiting for a comeback or just love a good laugh, these witty lines will have you grinning while you refresh your chat. Perfect for sharing with friends or sneaking into your texts, get ready to turn read receipts into your next comedy goldmine! 🎉💬😆

New funny read receipt quotes 👇

All funny read receipt quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I will sit in the rain about this.

42 shares on TikTok this month:

Me, at the intervention: “Ah look, all the reasons I drink gathered in one place.”

41 shares on Reddit this month:

I want to sleep but my brain won’t stop talking to itself.

56 shares on YouTube this month:

Facebook is extremely over-engineered for a birthday reminder app.

32 shares on Reddit this month:

It’s a beautiful morning. Lots of people out walking their phones.

47 shares on Discord this month:

I feel so bad when I overtake an old person on the sidewalk. Like, man, I really didn’t mean to flex on you with my youthful stride.

65 shares on X this month:

Of course there’s birth control for men. It’s called the way they act.

12 shares on Reddit this month:

NFTs were less about the money and more about the friends you scammed along the way.

22 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I think when girls start liking pink again, it means they’re healing.

73 shares on Facebook this month:

A bathrobe is being naked with plausible deniability and pockets.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If men didn’t exist, I would simply go for a 2 a.m. walk every night and listen to music in my AirPods.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

We should be able take jets and tanks and stuff whenever we want, we paid for them.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Can anyone recommend some good places for somebody just getting into visiting?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

They expect me to work at work.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

My ex said I had commitment issues but this giant jar of Nutella says otherwise.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Ten million people accused me of exaggerating today.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

People say opposites attract, but I say find a partner who’s deranged in the same ways you are and double your capacity to be annoying.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve never been cut in half by a magician, but I have worn jeans on Thanksgiving. Same thing.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

“It’s Raining Men” and “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor” are the same song from different points of view.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My only addiction is coffee, which is just like crack but is legal and tastes good.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,534

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

I don’t have an advent calendar, so I’m just opening cupboard doors and eating what’s in there.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

I dunno how to flirt but I can insult you so nicely.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

I heard a mouse yesterday. So now I loudly announce myself whenever I enter a dark room. In case you’re wondering how brave I am.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

I’m a Leo so I just eat the other astrological signs.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

I am such a fun person and so easy to get along with as long as the layout I have secretly imagined for the entire day goes exactly as I planned it without variation or interruption.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

What would boomers do without their paper shredder?

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

I love unfollowing people. You have displeased me for the last time. Leave my sight.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

I did a little research on why weekends are only two days long and it turns out people made that up. WTF, people?

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Most men don’t actually want to do things; they just want to talk about doing them.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Nothing flies faster than the ketchup out of the bottle when you only want a little.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

One person’s logic is another one’s “what the heck?”

Shared recently on Slack:

The only time you should be faking it is when your pet checks to see if you’re awake.

Spotted on Twitch:

Maybe I’m wrong, but I still don’t think our parents realized how far we rode our bikes in the 80s and 90s.

Shared recently on Telegram:

You ever got inside jokes with yourself, or is that schizophrenia?

Trending via Pinterest:

If you ever feel like something’s missing in your life, it’s probably me.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Y’all made fun of Plankton on Spongebob for dating a computer, and look at y’all now.

Trending via Threads:

Just drafted the drunk text I’m going to send after one drink this weekend.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I’ve had enough. I’m ready to spend an eternity in the arms of my lover.

Breaking via YouTube:

Noam Chomsky sounds like the legal name of the very hungry caterpillar.

Making waves on Snapchat:

The only thing I miss from my past is that flat stomach I had.

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