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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Sorry, can’t go out tonight. My bed told me it needs me, and I can’t let it down.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

When I say “the other day”, it can be anytime between yesterday and my birth.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

My only knowledge of animals is that turtles like pizza and cats like lasagna.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Social media is a great way to make new enemies.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

No one is more hated than those two people who start a standing ovation.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

‘You’re going to die alone!’ Okay, when did dying become a group project?

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

What are some beginner bad habits for someone just getting into ruining their life?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

If you think I’m annoying, give it some time. You’ll know for sure pretty soon.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

What happened to my ankles tonight mosquitologically can never happen again.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

I like when the superheroes that can fly pick up and carry the ones that can’t.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,594

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

Doggystyle, so we can both look at the river.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I ghost family members too, so believe me, bro — it’s not personal.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Going to therapy is like having someone walk around your brain and going “ohhhh, this is how you’re living?!”

Broadcasted on Discord:

Being too stressed isn’t good for the baby. I’m not pregnant though, it’s just that I’m the baby.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Sorry I’m unavailable… the horrors of reality insist upon themselves.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

As funny as it sounds, the easiest way to get women is by having a girlfriend.

Making waves on TikTok:

I’m not lazy, I’m just highly selective about what I suffer for.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Aubrey Plaza is like an alien who went to earth to study us but accidentally got famous and can’t leave.

Trending via X:

When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets, because stressed spelled backwards is desserts.

Going bananas on Threads:

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.

18 Funny recommendation quotes

Funny recommendation quotes bring a splash of humor 😂 and wit 💡 to the usual praise game! Whether you’re looking to lighten up a LinkedIn shoutout or add some chuckles to a testimonial, these playful lines will have everyone smiling 😄 and nodding in agreement. Ready to turn boring endorsements into unforgettable moments? Let’s dive into the world of funny recommendation quotes that sparkle with personality and fun! 🎉✨

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Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on Threads this month:

Having a blocked nose really makes you appreciate the finer things in life, like breathing normally.

92 shares on Discord this month:

I won’t bore you with my problems because all of my problems are fascinating.

11 shares on Twitch this month:

All income is disposable if you’re brave enough.

40 shares on Threads this month:

I threw a ball for my dog. May be a little extravagant, but he looks great in a tux.

36 shares on Messenger this month:

They should invent health insurance that insures your health.

19 shares on YouTube this month:

The most romantic minds of our time are being subjected to situationships.

73 shares on Discord this month:

“Are you busy tomorrow?” My dear, that entirely depends on the rest of the information you’re about to give me.

78 shares on Twitch this month:

Isn’t your email address beautifulgirl@mydreams.com?

88 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Canadians are nice because they’re close to Santa.

15 shares on Snapchat this month:

“Are you getting your period?” God forbid I’m just evil.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Want to know what someone is really like? Play Monopoly with them.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I live in constant fear of being asked to repeat what you just said after I say I’m listening.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I think I look pretty okay for my age. It’s just when I hold menus two feet from my face that I know the ruse is up.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Being a social worker is crazy because those are literally my two least favorite things.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Putting together a piece of furniture today, so my kids are about to learn swear words that haven’t even been invented yet.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

For my next trick, I’ll watch a two-hour movie in four.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

A lot of people think you need a lot of money to buy clothes. And they’re right.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The only time your man will surprise you is when you specifically tell him what you want.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I see no action figures, puzzles, or board games. I thought you said you wanted to play with me.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe your soulmate’s just late, like, wildly behind schedule.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,292

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

So many spreadsheets and not once did I feel excelled.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

They don’t put cars in malls anymore, like they used to.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

I love being home and doing absolutely nothing and never contributing to society.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Ask your doctor if it’s right for you to eat oranges and pretend they’re planets and you’re a Greek god.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

“This too shall pass!” Okay, but like, when exactly?

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

No revenge, because losing someone like me is enough.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

I’m a kid at heart and a senior citizen at my knees and back.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Set my sex robot to boyfriend mode and now it’s liking other girls’ pictures on Insta.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

If I could turn water into wine, I’d have lots of followers too.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

I bought a bag of M&M’s and they don’t have M’s anymore. They all have W’s, for woke.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Meow means woof in cat.

Making waves on Slack:

You call it nagging, I call it ‘listen to what I said the first time!’

Spotted on Slack:

How can you not appreciate a drunk text? Someone is absolutely off their face and still thinking of you.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Tariff this, tariff that. When is somebody gonna tariff my clothes and kiss me?

Just landed via Slack:

I believe it was Aristotle who once said “The fastest way to get your kids to stop screaming is to also start screaming.”

Spotted on TikTok:

I’m writing a book on the joys of drinking beer. So far I’ve been through a lot of drafts.

Trending via Slack:

“Baby on board” Okay, well, can you tell him to drive faster?

Spotted on Discord:

I don’t want to exacerbate things. That would just make things worse.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

One minute you’re young and carefree. The next minute you can feel in your knee when it starts to rain.

Making waves on X:

Not texting back is only ok when I do it.

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