Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: I suck at flirting. I be like “is that so?”

Commentary:
When it comes to flirting, I make awkward look like an art form. 🤷‍♂️ "Is that so?" – me, the smooth operator. Just call me the master of subtle romance! 😉
6 months ago
Share →: I love when women move on. It’s my favourite genre.

Commentary:
"Ah, the ever-elusive genre of 'women moving on' – a cinematic masterpiece filled with plot twists, character development, and the occasional dramatic exit 💃🏻🎬 Who knew leaving could be so entertaining?!"
6 months ago
Share →: Of course there’s birth control for men. It’s called the way they act.

Commentary:
"Who needs a pill when you have the ultimate contraceptive right in front of you – their behavior! 🙅‍♂️😂 Let the man-child shenanigans reign as the ultimate birth control method!"
6 months ago
Share →: Welcome to your 50s: You’re not attracted to anyone who likes you.

Commentary:
Ah, the classic catch-22 of reaching your 50s: you finally have the confidence and maturity to know your worth, but now nobody seems to be interested in matching your fabulous vibe! 🙈 Looks like it's time to embrace the solo adventure of self-love and Netflix binges – who needs a partner when you've got your own perfect company, right? 💁‍♂️ #FabulousAt50s 🎉
6 months ago
Share →: When they know you know they did you dirty, they stay gone. And that’s the best thing.

Commentary:
"When you catch them red-handed and they vanish into thin air like a magician realizing their trick's up 🎩🐰 Poof! And just like that, the disappearing act of the century is complete. Adios, ghosters!"
6 months ago
Share →: Diplomacy is the art of sending someone to hell in such a way that they look forward to the journey.

Commentary:
"Ah, diplomacy at its finest – where a one-way ticket to the fiery pits is disguised as a grand adventure! 🌋✉️ Bon voyage, dear friend! 😉"
6 months ago
Share →: Relationships are actually easy when you’re not dating a lying weirdo.

Commentary:
"Who knew honesty could be such a relationship cheat code? 🕵️‍♂️ No need for detective work when you're not dating a master of deception! 💔 Keep it real, folks!"
6 months ago
Share →: Thank you for being friends with me. Baffling decision, but thank you.

Commentary:
"Thanks for being friends with me. Must've been a moment of temporary insanity on your part, but hey, I'll take it! 🤪🤷‍♂️ #BlessedWithConfusingFriendships"
6 months ago
Share →: The real body count is how many people are in therapy because of you.

Commentary:
"Oops, I guess my 'charisma' comes with a side of traumatized souls 🙊💥 Better start sending out those 'I'm sorry for emotional distress' cards! 💌🤷‍♂️ #TherapyIsTheNewThanks"
6 months ago
Share →: There are two types of people: Those who steal food off your plate and those who you keep in your life.

Commentary:
"When it comes to food thieves, keep your friends close and your forks closer! 🍴👀 #SharingIsCaringButNotAlways"