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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Men be like, “I want you.” Yeah, to suffer.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Done with work today. The work day isn’t over, I’m just done with it.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Lately, when I meet new people, I ask them what their hobbies are instead of what they do for work, and let me tell you, the conversations have been absolutely top tier!

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Sorry, I can’t come. I’m still recovering from the last time I went out.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

I asked myself if I was toxic and we said no.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

You look like the result of a failed CIA experiment.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

When I dance, people say it reminds them of a wild dog chasing its tail.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

WFH is so great until you realize you’ve walked about 17 steps all day.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Just paid my bills, so don’t ask me to come out. I’m at home getting my money’s worth.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Sometimes you show up to work, and they just torture you for hours.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,611

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

How do you react when you see someone you respect on an e-scooter?

Shared recently on Twitch:

“Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” by “Wham” encourages you to do something you shouldn’t do.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Stop rushing in the morning. You’re starting your day in panic mode.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

If I block you and you email me, you’re getting another chance.

Just landed via Reddit:

Quitting my job to focus on watching YouTube.

Trending via Pinterest:

Daniel Craig leaving Bond to become Benoit Blanc is one of the best things to ever happen.

Just landed via Twitch:

Y’all ever postpone an outfit? Like, nah, let me save this for a better day? Same.

Just shared via Threads:

My life is just a series of awkward moments separated by snacks.

Seen just now on Slack:

Sometimes I want to sleep, but my brain decides to do a little tap dance through every mistake I’ve ever made, instead.

Funny retaliation quotes

New funny retaliation quotes 👇

If you tell lies about me, I’ll tell the truth about you.

2 weeks ago

honesty, humor, lie, me, relationship, retaliation, sarcasm, tell, truth

All funny retaliation quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on Facebook this month:

My child had pancakes and syrup for breakfast so I guess I’ll be sticking to my furniture for the next week.

44 shares on Instagram this month:

Two sheep walk into a baaaaa.

55 shares on Discord this month:

Doctor: Your body has run out of magnesium. Me: OMg.

40 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m sick of the Microsoft Authenticator. Like, who would be logging in to do my work?

66 shares on WeChat this month:

You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.

58 shares on Telegram this month:

My toxic trait is thinking I can nap, then waking up 3 hours later in a parallel universe where I missed everything.

75 shares on Twitch this month:

Porn looks so funny when you’re not horny.

79 shares on Telegram this month:

There are more bots on here than in Star Wars.

61 shares on Reddit this month:

I asked myself if I was toxic and we said no.

12 shares on WeChat this month:

The only thing I know about AI is, it desperately wants us to have more fingers.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

I have tasted academic validation. I have tasted romantic love. I recommend getting a hobby.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

I can’t believe that it’s our turn to give money to our nephews and nieces.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

My psych professor asked if we’d heard of Pavlov. I said, “It rings a bell.” No one laughed; I’m too witty for this class.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Thought you guys should know this was only Monday. It’s also still Monday.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Life hack: You don’t need white noise to sleep when you have constant ringing in your ears.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, please put some money in its pocket.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

You’re the ‘S’ to my ‘HTTP’; without you, I’m just a bad connection!

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

“Devil’s advocate” implies the existence of heaven’s prosecutor.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Currently accepting DMs from any man with a sturdy bunker on his property.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

I hate having a ton of anxiety and no energy. It’s like having a tank full of gas and no engine.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

Just another day of not being hot and rich.

Just landed via Twitch:

If Keith Richards survived the ’70s, the ’80s, and 1.2 million Marlboros, I can probably survive anything.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I’d probably be a very chill werewolf, even during a full moon.

Just landed via Pinterest:

One day you’re 18 eating pizza for every lunch, then suddenly you’re 30 and eating salad with celery and kale juice.

Making waves on Discord:

Yeah, baby, I am an animal in bed. More specifically a koala. I can sleep for 22 hours a day.

Just landed via X:

You know how a dog tilts his head and looks confused when he hears a strange sound? Yeah, that’s how I feel when some people are talking.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

November should have one more day. Just because to me November 31st sounds real. And also I don’t want to pay rent tomorrow.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

If I eat a magnet, will I become more attractive?

Making waves on WeChat:

Sometimes life is “Eat, pray, love,” and sometimes it’s “Scroll, snack, overthink.”

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I accidentally used my dog’s shampoo today, and now I’m feeling like such a good girl.

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Funny retaliation quotes

New funny retaliation quotes 👇

If you tell lies about me, I’ll tell the truth about you.

All funny retaliation quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨