136 Funny right quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I have never in my life learned from another person’s mistakes, I would literally let a giant wooden horse into my house right this second.

  Commentary:
  "Learning from other people's mistakes? Nah, not my style. Giant wooden horse on my doorstep seems totally legit though. 🏛️🐴🏠 #TrojanHorse #OopsIDidItAgain"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: How are they running out of oxygen if they’re breathing it right back into the submarine?

  Commentary:
  Well, it appears this submarine is playing a classic game of hide and seek with oxygen – breathe in, breathe out, oops where did it go? 🌬️🤷‍♂️ Seems like they need a lesson in keeping track of their precious gas or it might end up being a case of "One breath in, two breaths out, one oxygen tank gone!" 🤦🤣

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Everyone thinks they’re brave right up until a goose starts chasing them.

  Commentary:
  "Bravery is all fun and games until you meet a determined goose on a mission! 🦢😂 #GooseGotMeShook"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Having teens is fun because they demand their independence but then turn right around and ask you for $20.

  Commentary:
  "Oh, the joys of raising teens – the masters of independence and the art of wallet whispering simultaneously! 🤑👩‍👧‍👦💸 #TeenageTales #ParentingAdventures"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Toys R Us went out of business because their mascot was a stupid giraffe when it could’ve been a toy dinosaur called the Toysaurus. It was right there man.

  Commentary:
  "Talk about a missed opportunity! 🦒🦖 Toys R Us really missed the mark by not capitalizing on the potential of a toy dinosaur mascot named Toysaurus. They could've been roaring back into business! 🦕💔 #DinosaurVsGiraffe"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I am so out of shape right now, that if someone yelled “run for your life!” I’d be like “ya’ll go ahead, I’m meetin’ Jesus today!”

  Commentary:
  "Who needs cardio when you can have a spiritual awakening, am I right? 🏃‍♂️🙏 #runninglateforheaven"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Somebody just told me I was living the dream, I can assure you I have never dreamt of this shit right here.

  Commentary:
  "Living the dream? More like living a nightmare! 😂💭 Who dreams of chaos and madness, am I right? This is the stuff of a comedy movie gone wrong! 🤪 #RealityCheck"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I was thinking of becoming self employed, but due to cutbacks, I can’t afford to hire me right now.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like the boss (aka YOU) is not feeling so generous with the budget lately 🤷‍♂️ Maybe it's time for a performance review with some self-reflection? 😅💼 #DIYBoss"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: If I’d married a wealthier man, I’d be lying on a fancier couch right now refusing to clean bigger rooms.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs bigger rooms to clean when you can just hire someone to do it for you? 😆💰 #RichWifeGoals"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: The romantic says that there is the right partner for everyone. The realist says: only one person has to choose the wrong one and then it won’t work out for everyone!

  Commentary:
  Ah, the age-old debate between the romantic and the realist! 🌹❤️💔 Seems like the realist always has a point – way to rain on everyone's love parade! 😂 But hey, one person’s wrong choice is another person’s lucky break, right? 🍀 #RelationshipRealities

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