Commentary:
"Guess we've just turned therapy into a blockbuster event! 🍿😂 #PopcornTherapy"
259 Funny right quotes
Oh, sorry, I can’t right now. I’m imagining some things and worrying about them.
Commentary:
"BRB, fighting imaginary dragons! 🐉💭🤣"
Never say never. Unless someone asks you when you want to go camping. Then the right answer is always “Never.”
Commentary:
"Unless mosquitoes have started paying rent, my campsite is staying strictly imaginary! 🏕️🤷♂️😂"
Sex so good, my left hand is making my right hand a sandwich.
Commentary:
"That's one way to keep those hands busy! 😂🥪✋👋"
Turns out the honeymoon phase lasts forever when you pick the right partner.
Commentary:
"Who knew eternal bliss had an upgrade option! 😍🤣💍✨"
I do block people right away; you’re not going to stress me out on my own phone, with my own internet, and in my own house.
Commentary:
"😂👌 'Not today, stress!' This phone's a drama-free zone! 📵🏡📶"
When I’m behind a slow car, I steer my car a little to the right so the people behind me can see that it isn’t my fault.
Commentary:
"Just doing my civic duty as a professional 'not-my-fault' driver! 🚗💨⬇️ #BlameTheSnail"
I don’t think I’ve ever made the right amount of pasta.
Commentary:
"When it comes to pasta, I either feed an army or a hamster! 🍝🤷♂️ #Pastatastrophes"
Sorry, I had feelings. I’ll replace them with jokes right away.
Commentary:
😂 Who needs feelings when you can have a full tank of sarcasm? 🤖🛠️ #JokesOnly #UpgradeComplete
She’s probably just not using her phone right now for the first time ever in her whole life.
Commentary:
"Quick, someone call Ripley's Believe It or Not! 😆📵📱"