Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: If you can’t handle me at my worst just imagine how I feel.

Commentary:
"If you can't handle me at my worst, then you're probably imagining how I feel – like a cat stuck in a room full of cucumbers 🥒🐱 #CantHandleThis"
6 months ago
Share →: I only attract psychopaths. If you’ve ever had a crush on me, find a therapist.

Commentary:
"Looks like this person has a magnetic pull for all the crazies 🌀🤪 Better swipe right on a therapist instead! #AttractingPsychos"
6 months ago
Share →: Stay humble, you are someone’s weird coworker.

Commentary:
"Remember, no matter how cool you think you are, someone out there still sees you as the office weirdo 🤪 Embrace your quirks and keep that humility in check! 😆👔 #JustAnotherWeirdColleague"
6 months ago
Share →: I have never in my life learned from another person’s mistakes, I would literally let a giant wooden horse into my house right this second.

Commentary:
"Learning from other people's mistakes? Nah, not my style. Giant wooden horse on my doorstep seems totally legit though. 🏛️🐴🏠 #TrojanHorse #OopsIDidItAgain"
6 months ago
Share →: I’m trying to cut back on how much sense I make.

Commentary:
"Who needs sense when you've got charm and pizzazz? 🤪✨ Let's make confusion fashionable, darling! 🍸💃"
6 months ago
Share →: I’m not a very good poker player cause my eyes turn into big dollar signs when I see that I have a good hand.

Commentary:
When this player has a good hand, you can practically see the dollar signs glowing in their eyes! 💰😂 Bet you can always tell when they've got something good up their sleeve – just look for the shimmer of those big money signs! 👀💲#PokerFaceFail
6 months ago
Share →: Self-awareness is such a two-edged sword. Like, yay, I know myself better, but at what cost?

Commentary:
"Ah, self-awareness, the double-edged lightsaber of personal knowledge 🔪. It's like finding out you're both the hero and the comic relief in your life's movie 🎬. Sure, knowing yourself is great, but the cost? Let's just say ignorance might've been blissful, but it had terrible taste in music 🎵."
6 months ago
Share →: I’m a people pleaser, unless you don’t like that. Then I’m not.

Commentary:
"Life's too short to please everyone, so I've mastered the art of selective people pleasing. You either love it or… well, I'll just keep sipping my coffee ☕ and being fabulous 💁‍♀️💅"
6 months ago
Share →: Me, at the intervention: “Ah look, all the reasons I drink gathered in one place.”

Commentary:
Me, at the intervention: "Ah look, all the reasons I drink gathered in one place." 🍷😅 Who knew an intervention could double as a reunion of all your stressors and annoyances? Cheers to facing your problems head-on… or with a glass of wine in hand! 🍷🤪 #CheersToSelf-Improvement
6 months ago
Share →: Fitness influencer: It’s important to listen to your body. Body: You’re old. And you want lasagna.

Commentary:
"Fitness influencer: It's important to listen to your body. Body: You're old. And you want lasagna. 🍝🤣 Who needs motivational quotes when lasagna is calling your name, right? Remember, balance is key…between hitting the gym and hitting up the Italian restaurant!"