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Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Ί has bookmarked:

Netflix has every movie except the one you want to watch.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡¬ has bookmarked:

First caveman to see fire: Well, this is a buncha bullshit that no one needs (stomps it out) and I predict that’s the last I’ll ever see of that.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡¨ has downloaded:

Please pray for my husband, he’s struggling to find me.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡΅ has downloaded:

For years I thought an oncologist was just the doctor they kept on-call at all times.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡― has bookmarked:

Toast doesn’t talk. How do you know it’s French?

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡΄ has copied:

I used to think that the older you get, the wiser and more self-confident you become. I now know that you just get tired more quickly.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡» has copied:

I had a hard time coping with the divorce. I’m fine now, but at first I was almost crazy with joy.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡¬ has downloaded:

Any room can be an escape room when you have diarrhea.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡¬ has downloaded:

In my 20’s: might hit the club tonight. In my 40’s: might go to the grocery store to listen to some bangers.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡¬ has copied:

They should invent more hobbies for people without skills or patience.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

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818 added this month

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10,980

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10,980

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Social Media Log πŸ’«

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

My hobbies include adding things to my cart, and never buying them.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Bold of me to constantly use the phrase β€œno worries!” when I am, in fact, constantly full of many worries.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Boyfriend hasn’t accepted my LinkedIn request yet. He doesn’t want to connect. He doesn’t want to build.

Reported on Pinterest:

People who scream sneeze need their own island.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

They should invent a day where I don’t think.

Spotted on Instagram:

A woman’s G-spot can be found at the end of the word shopping.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I’ve never been to hell, but I once forgot to buy batteries for the toys on Christmas morning. The sound is still ringing in my ears.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I hate when cashiers feel the need to check if my money is real. If I could make counterfeit money, I wouldn’t be at the Dollar Tree, Karen.

Trending via X:

The difference between coffee and your opinion is that I asked for coffee.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

You don’t have to check your Spotify Wrapped, you are the most played this year.

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13 Funny self-perception quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

818 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,980

Funny Quotes Topics

13,922

Funny Quotes Images

10,980

Updated

17 minutes ago

Users Online

3,429

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡§ has shared:

It’s okay to embarrass yourself a little in the pursuit of human connection.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡ͺ has viewed:

A 20% discount sounds great until you realize you can’t afford the other 80%

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡½ has copied:

So deep in her Instagram story, I accidentally liked an ad for a Toyota.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡΄ has bookmarked:

I finally became a butterfly, and everyone’s already asking what’s next.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡ͺ has downloaded:

Whoever invented the β€œskip intro” button really understood humans.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡Έ has downloaded:

Every time I buy vegetables it’s a triumph of hope over experience.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡³ has viewed:

Forget sexy talk. I want breakfast talk. Describe those waffles to me nice and slow.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡± has bookmarked:

Good morning to everyone β€” except me, because I clearly didn’t get enough sleep.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡© has shared:

Of all the things to lose why couldn’t it have been my appetite and not my mind.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡§ has copied:

There’s no denying that I have an effect on men. Mostly migraines, but an effect nonetheless.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Just landed via YouTube:

β€œCareful. It’s slippery!” – Everyone, after you’ve already slipped.

Making waves on Discord:

This tape doesn’t even taste like scotch.

Going viral on Telegram:

Just said “shitted feet” instead of “fitted sheet” in front of my my son and his friends. If you need me, I’ll be in the closet.

Just shared via Discord:

One minute you’re young and carefree. The next minute you can feel in your knee when it starts to rain.

Just shared via Snapchat:

It sucks when a woman realizes that her knight in shining armor was actually just a moron wrapped in tinfoil.

Just landed via Telegram:

Camping? No, thank you. If I wanted to sleep outside, I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

Live now on Discord:

Not to brag, but I don’t need alcohol to send texts I’ll regret.

Breaking via Threads:

Old age is always 15 years older than I am.

Just landed via Instagram:

They are all liars, so just pick the tallest and enjoy.

Just shared via Pinterest:

My wife and I always eat dinner as fast as possible so we can have a popsicle.

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