Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

I want a chiropractor to crack my entire body like a glow stick.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

If my fingers don’t motion like scissors snipping when I ask for a haircut at the salon, how will they know what I mean?

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

My husband thinks he can just order me around like he’s one of the cats.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

What if babies had two umbilical cords and if you cut the wrong one, it exploded?

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Vote for me and I’ll remove all the calories from cheese.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Dudes be named Will but won’t.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

“Seize the day!” No thank you. I will leave the day alone and hope it extends me the same courtesy.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Ah coffee. The sweet balm by which we shall accomplish today’s tasks.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Not feeling fergalicious today, actually feeling pretty fergusting right now.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Being quiet in a room full of loud people is my favorite sport.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,570

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Men don’t chew on toothpicks all day anymore.

Trending via WhatsApp:

This is the dumbest apocalypse ever.

Making waves on Instagram:

The shower is the only one who gets turned on when I’m naked.

Trending via Instagram:

My sister: snowboards. My brother: skateboards. Me: charcuterie boards.

Just shared via Threads:

You look like something I drew with my left hand.

Shared recently on Threads:

Having a girlfriend is insane because you can literally text them, and they will respond.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

The voodoo magic of a tranquil night’s sleep

Freshly posted on Threads:

Maybe if we sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

Going viral on Telegram:

It’s difficult to play hard to get when I’m already hard to want.

Trending via Pinterest:

Reverse cowgirl, so we can both address the elephant in the room.

Funny slow pace quotes

Funny slow pace quotes 🐢 bring a chuckle to those who love taking life one step at a time 🐌. Whether you’re a proud procrastinator or just enjoy savoring every moment, these witty lines remind us that sometimes slow and steady really does win the race 🏆. Ready to laugh at the art of moving at your own quirky speed? Let’s dive into some hilarious takes on taking it slow! 😂🚶‍♂️

New funny slow pace quotes 👇

All funny slow pace quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

42 shares on X this month:

No camera can do justice to a landscape that melts your heart.

58 shares on Facebook this month:

Please stop calling 911 when you see me dancing. I’m fine!

71 shares on WeChat this month:

Once married, the woman takes over the entire closet and the man stores everything he owns in his left cargo pocket.

46 shares on Messenger this month:

I always thought orthopaedic shoes were overrated, but I stand corrected.

24 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m full of rage, but in a very chill and nonchalant way.

45 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Any house is an Airbnb if you’re quiet enough.

16 shares on Twitch this month:

Feeling melancholy. Think I’ll have a drink and make things much worse.

96 shares on Pinterest this month:

My husband said we need to start exercising and get into shape, so I’m going to wake up early tomorrow and start looking for a new husband.

47 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m at the stage in life where I stay out of arguments. Even if you say 1+1=5, you’re right. Have fun.

27 shares on Telegram this month:

Nobody views your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Headed to a wedding but my wife said I’m not allowed to refer to the bride as ‘the veiled threat.’

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Girl dinner, but it’s the hearts of men who wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a crush on a girl makes you think things like, yes, let me make more money.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Grape soda doesn’t taste at all like grapes, but it does taste like purple, and I don’t know how to explain that.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Home is where you’ve left the shopping list.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Long sandwiches should have suitcase handles.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Socialism isn’t wrong because it has compassion. It’s wrong because it doesn’t work.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Google Maps should start screaming the more wrong turns you make.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Food is like sex: When you abstain, even the worst stuff begins to look good.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Told my boss I was going to the bathroom but didn’t say which one. Now I’m at home.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,452

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

“Do you like using Twitter?” Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

I bet the inventor of the cannon would be relieved to know that they’re mostly about t-shirts now.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Opening this app is like lighting a cigarette.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Whoever said diamonds are a girl’s best friend clearly has never met shredded cheese.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I wish I could turn down the volume on certain people.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Ironically people who are good at giving advice find it difficult to follow their own.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

I am at my Thanksgiving table observing personality disorders that have not been identified yet.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

I just want peace, not a notification every time someone breathes.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Spoiler alert: Monday doesn’t care about your feelings.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

I identify as a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I go down when you really want me.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

Unfortunately for things, they have no choice but to work out for me.

Trending via Messenger:

Hello, boyfriend? It’s me, girlfriend, from dating?

Live now on WhatsApp:

I have never seen a single “when animals attack” video that I wasn’t rooting for the animal.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Why are fish the only thing you can monger? Let me monger some other stuff.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Tuah Kill a Hawkingbird

Seen just now on TikTok:

80 years from now, this comment section will be full of dead people. Write anything you want.

Trending via Messenger:

When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific.

Freshly posted on Discord:

If I had money, my life would be pretty much the same, but my dogs would destroy much nicer stuff.

Spotted on WeChat:

Life update: it’s getting worse.

Breaking via WeChat:

I was not meant to work a job; I was meant to lay down and ponder.

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