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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

Science has enough bodies, I’m donating mine to English lit just to spice things up a bit.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Social media can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

One day I’ll have a sassy, know-it-all daughter, and my husband will say, “She got that from you,” and I can’t wait.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

People who are on Twitter and put intelligent in their bio, good one.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

I keep my eyes in great shape by rolling them constantly.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Sarcastically saying “you’re welcome” to the people who don’t say thank you when I hold the door for them is something I’ll never stop doing.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

You know what brought my home value up? Not having an angry man in it.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

This could have been an email. Me, while attending a wedding ceremony.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

I think my soulmate might be carbs.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

The void screams into me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,594

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

I love when my brain cells kiss and I have an idea.

Spotted on TikTok:

Sometimes I say “huh,” then answer the question before you can repeat your question.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I only use ‘sir’ disrespectfully.

Seen just now on Discord:

I’m in my 20s, but somehow I’m 16 and also 55 at the same time.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Parallel lines have got so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet.

Just landed via Instagram:

Witnessing karma is awesome . . . witnessing instant karma is more awesome.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Oh, Amazon, no. Please do not tell me how many packages I had delivered this year; that is none of my business.

Just shared via YouTube:

The way time stretches between the moment you put your hands under the air dryer and the realization it is in fact a paper towel dispenser.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I crashed my bike in 1989 and hurt my knee real bad. We didn’t have social media back then so I’m telling you guys now.

14 Funny software quotes

More funny software quotes 👇

Outlook just asked me if I’m “enjoying” Microsoft Outlook. As if it’s not the Torment Portal.

3 weeks ago

enjoying, enjoyment, frustration, humor, just, me, microsoft, outlook, portal, sarcasm, software, torment, work
Sometimes there is no way to debug besides staring at the code until you become enlightened.

3 weeks ago

code, debug, development, enlightenment, humor, programming, software, software development, sometimes, staring
Maybe this is the Windows software update that changes everything for me.

3 weeks ago

change, changes, everything, humor, me, optimism, software, technology, update, Windows
Are you a software update, because not now!

3 weeks ago

dating, humor, not now, procrastination, software, software update, technology, update

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All funny software quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on Discord this month:

Taking a dog named shark to the beach is a bad idea.

53 shares on WeChat this month:

A lot of childhood characters weren’t so much beloved as there wasn’t anything else on the TV.

38 shares on Twitch this month:

Oh, you’re extending your sale? Your Black Friday sale that ended on Tuesday? You’re extending it?

61 shares on X this month:

My five-year plan only requires a few acts of God.

34 shares on Slack this month:

Bro, did you seriously just forget about Dre?

80 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I could put my keys in the same spot every day, but why deprive myself of a treasure hunt that makes me late.

88 shares on Telegram this month:

There are rumors that someone came down the chimney last night. This is preposterous. I would have lost my mind.

28 shares on Threads this month:

One of the benefits of being my friend is that you can come to my house in your pajamas, no make-up, and look like crap and I won’t judge you.

69 shares on LinkedIn this month:

During arguments with idiots, I wish I could throw a flash bang and disappear.

42 shares on TikTok this month:

Should we all just give up and get really into drugs? Wait, this is literally what happened in the 60s. That just clicked for me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

What you call “Brunch” I call “Breakfast for Alcoholics.”

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

December turns me into someone who believes a fat man with a beard can fix everything.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Girls be like “forget it, I’m fine” then set your house on fire.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Cats are probably like: Oh, I should follow you on Litterboxd.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Just pulled a Werther’s Original out of my pocket, like I’m 87 years old.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

November should have one more day. Just because to me November 31st sounds real. And also I don’t want to pay rent tomorrow.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

It’s way too easy to lie online. I was just telling Beyoncé about that the other day.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Feeling feral. Better make some mac and cheese.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

People always ask me “Do you believe in God?” and I say of course it’s important to have self-belief.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

I’m not calling anyone daddy unless I’m asking for money for the mall.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

“Just circling back on this.” – “Take another lap.”

Going viral on TikTok:

I feel like the person who named pink eye also named orange juice.

Making waves on Slack:

I threw a ball for my dog. May be a little extravagant, but he looks great in a tux.

Just landed via Messenger:

A political guy who supports communism because he hates applying for jobs and just wants to be assigned somewhere.

Spotted on Snapchat:

The fewer friends at your birthday party means more cake for you. Follow me for more life hacks.

Spotted on Telegram:

Baby for sale. Refuses to wear shoes.

Trending via Pinterest:

If you’re riding in my car, that little middle piece is for my elbow — not yours.

Shared recently on YouTube:

So I used to wonder about people that paid a fortune for those little bottles of Evian water, until I read it backwards.

Making waves on WeChat:

Who needs therapy when you can just cry in a fast-food parking lot.

Trending via TikTok:

Called in telepathically this morning, so they know I’m thinking of them.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

14 Funny software quotes

More funny software quotes 👇

Outlook just asked me if I’m “enjoying” Microsoft Outlook. As if it’s not the Torment Portal.

Sometimes there is no way to debug besides staring at the code until you become enlightened.

Maybe this is the Windows software update that changes everything for me.

Are you a software update, because not now!

All funny software quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨