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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

I’d probably be a very chill werewolf, even during a full moon.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

I’m living in a parallel universe where I suck at parking.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Thanks for your email! Unfortunately, I have filled my pockets with stones and am making my way to the sea.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Accidentally falling asleep on the couch is somehow always the best sleep.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

If I like you I keep you close, if not I keep you at a distance so I can mime squishing your head between my thumb and forefinger.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

If they’re called leggings, why is your stomach in there?

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

“We will go ahead and make these changes if we don’t hear from you before Friday” is such an elegant way to solve problems.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

If you gain 4 pounds in one weekend, that just means you’re an overachiever.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

You guys ever play a game for hours straight? You start hallucinating the sounds.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Grok, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,514

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I love Pinterest. No opinions. No bad vibes. Just pretty pictures.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I want to be a garbage man, so I only have to work one day a week.

Going viral on Reddit:

Last year I had no valentine, this year I also have no valentine. Consistency!

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I started my diet 2 hours ago, I’m glad that’s over.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Sorry, I’m late. I was trying to convince a bathroom hand dryer that I exist.

Spotted on Telegram:

Not to brag, but I don’t fight with people on the internet.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I accidentally bought a pair of nose-cancelling headphones and now my glasses keep falling off.

Spotted on Discord:

That little stroll to the coffee maker makes me happy every morning.

Making waves on Discord:

Sleep when the baby sleeps, eat when the baby eats, work when the baby works.

Going viral on Messenger:

I’m on that new diet where you eat anything you want and you pray for a miracle.

11 Funny squirrels quotes

Funny squirrels quotes 🐿️ bring a burst of laughter and charm to your day! These cheeky little acorn collectors never fail to spark smiles with their quirky antics and playful nature 🍂😂. Whether you’re a nature lover or just in need of a quick giggle, these witty sayings capture the mischievous spirit of our bushy-tailed friends perfectly! Get ready to chuckle and share the squirrelly joy! 🐾✨

New funny squirrels quotes 👇

The older I get, the more I understand why people live in the woods and talk to squirrels.

0

2 months ago

aging, escape, humor, i, live, loneliness, nature, older, people, solitude, squirrels, talk, understand, understanding, why, woods
You could go camping or you could stay at home, not shower, leave dirt on the floor and let some squirrels in.

0

2 months ago

activity, camping, convenience, dirt, floor, home, humor, leave, let, nature, outdoor, outdoor activity, shower, squirrels, stay
In the autumn there are two types of creatures who collect acorns: squirrels and toddlers.

0

2 months ago

acorn, acorns, autumn, collection, creature, creatures, humor, nature, playfulness, squirrel, squirrels, toddler, types
I really love how squirrels get extra chubby heading into winter mostly because it’s super relatable.

0

2 months ago

animals, chubby, extra, humor, i, love, nature, relatable, squirrel, squirrels, super, winter
Went for a walk. Very pleasant evening. The squirrels and rabbits kept running away from me. That stung a little. I will remember their faces.

0

2 months ago

away, evening, funny moment, humor, i, little, me, memory, moment, nature, rabbit, remember, running, squirrel, squirrels, walk, wildlife
As a teen: secretly drinking in the park with friends. As an adult: secretly drinking in the park with squirrels.

0

2 months ago

adult, drinking, friends, humor, nostalgia, park, secret, squirrels, teen, transition
Squirrels get most of their energy from chewing on powerlines, that acorn thing is just for show.

0

2 months ago

acorn, chewing, energy, humor, just, misconception, nature, powerline, show, squirrel, squirrels, thing
One of the top features of squirrels, for me, has got to be that squirreliness.

0

2 months ago

feature, features, fun, humor, me, nature, personality, quirkiness, squirrel, squirrels, top
I forgot to take my meds so I’m looking forward to joining the squirrels in the tree to talk politics.

0

2 months ago

conversation, forgetfulness, forgot, humor, i, looking, meds, nature, politics, squirrels, take, talk, tree, whimsy
I brake for no one, except squirrels.

0

5 months ago

animal, brake, driving, except, humor, i, squirrel, squirrels

For even more funny squirrels quotes, hit next 👇

All funny squirrels quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

54 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t like violence, but I don’t mind if I get hit by luck.

78 shares on Pinterest this month:

Oh you won a gold medal at the Olympics? My watch just congratulated me for standing up.

70 shares on X this month:

Damn, all this overthinking and I still be making dumb decisions.

40 shares on Slack this month:

I love you to the refrigerator and back.

93 shares on YouTube this month:

And to think I survived a global pandemic for this.

78 shares on Telegram this month:

Whoever is dating my ex, all I can say is: cheat first!

56 shares on Facebook this month:

Babies first steal your glasses and then bite your nose. I don’t know where they get their reputation.

57 shares on Slack this month:

Stop bringing shitty Bluetooth speakers on hikes. No one came to the woods to hear you listen to Katy Perry.

52 shares on X this month:

What are some beginner pieces of information for somebody just getting into knowledge?

34 shares on Threads this month:

I get ignored so much, my name should be “terms and conditions”.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Kind of miraculous how much love can be summoned and how much your day can be improved by just looking at an animal and saying stuff in a weird voice.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If idiots could fly, TikTok would be an airport.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Delightful if true: booby trap.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe I’ll quit so I can focus on summer.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Aging isn’t even 1% as scary as whatever is going on with the people trying not to.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Here’s a question for all the mind readers out there.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Some folks go to college to delay being a bum.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Tailgating me while I’m going 90 in a 45 is crazy. And those red and blue lights on top of your car look stupid, btw, lol.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Morning me just stripped the bedding. Evening me is going to be pissed.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

For financial reasons, I will be passing away.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,260

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Dating apps are no place for meeting your soulmate. The best way to find your soulmate is to tweet really good.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

I should’ve existed as a tree.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

When you turn 50, they change the lightbulb in your fridge to that memory eraser from Men in Black.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

The IRS needs special envelopes for when you’re not in trouble.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Crazy to think that even after all of these years the Titanic’s pool still has water in it.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Why do humans need jobs? Why can’t I just exist and make art and chill with my cat?

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Thought you guys should know this was only Monday. It’s also still Monday.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

I’m an adult. I can do whatever I want. And yet, here I am just doing laundry, eating salads, taking antidepressants, flossing my teeth, and going on little walks. Like an IDIOT.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

If you shouldn’t go food shopping when you’re hungry, then you should definitely not go clothes shopping when you’re naked. Trust me on this.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Cleaning a house with children in it is like shoveling snow on the North Pole.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

I’ve got 50 minutes to make it look like I’ve been flossing for the last 6 months.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Hobosexual. A person who dates you with the sole interest of having a place to stay.

Live now on Reddit:

There aren’t any emojis that really express any meaningful sort of anguish.

Freshly posted on X:

I have an emotional support chicken roasting in the oven.

Seen just now on Facebook:

The lion doesn’t concern himself with credit card debt.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I always say “morning” instead of “good morning”, because if it was a good morning, I’d still be asleep.

Making waves on Slack:

As a proud husband and father in my 40s, my New Year’s resolution is to sneeze even louder this year.

Shared recently on TikTok:

While a leaf blower is a close second, my preferred cleaner is a flamethrower.

Breaking via Facebook:

Starting the second half of your sandwich is like “hell yeah, baby, let’s run it back!”

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

The toughest part of being a vegan is keeping it to yourself.

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