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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

My toxic trait is optimism.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Some people can start a task and then just finish it instead of trying to do a hundred things at once, like a squirrel on crack.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

How old is older? Because I’m still waiting for this wise thing to kick in.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Coffee ain’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat batteries.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

Welcome to downtown where the crosswalk signals are merely suggestions and you hope the puddles are water.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

I really wish people would stop thinking they need to speak to me in the mornings.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. It will never bring you true happiness or fulfillment. Also, it’s a felony.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

She didn’t leave you on read, bro. You left her on speechless.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

First, they give you butterflies, then mental health problems.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

I’ve heard that people who don’t have Facebook use their free time to lie naked on top of each other. Ew, imagine that.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,901

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

Updated

40 minutes ago

Users Online

3,418

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

I haven’t cleaned my shower in so long, it’s becoming a terrarium. Absolutely gorgeous.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Every time I watch “The Godfather”, I notice some new detail (they’re Italian???).

Spotted on Twitch:

Ribbed condoms don’t even taste like ribs.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

A freshly cleaned bathroom triggers an irresistible urge in men to trim their beard.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Jealous that my phone can just die for a little while.

Going viral on Slack:

Thinking about ignoring daily mess by creating new holiday decor mess.

Just landed via WeChat:

Icarus loved hot wings.

Just landed via Telegram:

I’m not asking for a lot, I just want someone down to earth that’s gonna touch me all over like my shower curtain does.

Just shared via Snapchat:

It’s weird when you realize that what you thought was rock bottom was actually somewhere around rock middle.

Spotted on WeChat:

Every person you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by asking if they’re drinking enough water.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,901

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

Updated

40 minutes ago

Users Online

3,424

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Normalize mouthing the lyrics to the song in your headphones in public.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

At the beginning of a relationship, people call their partner’s odd behavior “cute little quirks”. Some years later, the police call it “motive”.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Working my first office job. Is it normal to have nothing to do?

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Saw a shooting star and made a wish for everyone to stop talking to me.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

My morning coffee makes me feel like I’ve got my shit together. I don’t, but it makes me feel like I do.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

My outdoor flowers are doing amazing this year because I left them at the garden center where they belong.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

I tried to act normal once, worst five minutes of my life.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

At the job interview with one AirPod in.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

If you’re reading a book in public, you better be on at least page 140 or something.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

I can relate to America, because I too am about to enter a depression.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

When I’m dying, please rush me to the nearest haunted house. I don’t want to haunt a shitty apartment by myself.

Seen just now on X:

Do you scroll through Netflix to find a good show for your dog to watch when you leave the house or are you normal?

Shared recently on TikTok:

Pet owners be like “this is my pet Snoopy, but their nicknames are Booboo and Thicky Boy!”

Seen just now on Reddit:

I’m gonna start cursing people out but with biblical phrases like I hope your crops wither and bear no fruit and the ravens eat your mustard seeds.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

There are two quantities of popcorn: not enough and what have I done

Making waves on Reddit:

My favorite childhood memory is not paying bills.

Spotted on Snapchat:

You don’t scare me. You’re not the evil eye I get from my dog when I make him get up from the couch so I can lay down.

Just shared via YouTube:

Thursday is really unnecessary. Today could’ve been Friday.

Freshly posted on X:

Instead of writing letters, let’s wait a week before texting each other back so it still feels like it.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I am convinced that at least half of you are bots.

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