141 Funny take quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Sometimes I’ll call in, disguise my voice, and insist on speaking to me, or I’ll take my business elsewhere.

  Commentary:
  "Breaking news: Customer pulls a fast one on themselves, demands satisfaction or else they're outta there! 🤣📞 #CustomerServiceStruggles"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I am a person who wants to get a lot done, trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep in and take naps at times.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the eternal struggle between productivity and bed's seductive embrace! 💤💼 It's a daily battle of ambitions vs. comfort, a tale as old as time… or at least as old as the snooze button! ⏰😅 Who will win today, the go-getter or the snoozer? Stay tuned for the thrilling sequel: 'The Procrastination of Napping'. 😂"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: That feeling when you take the first bite of your favourite food, that’s called chewphoria.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the magical moment when you embark on a journey to Flavor Town, known as chewphoria! 🍔🎉 It's like a burst of happiness with every munch, a symphony of flavors dancing in your mouth! Just remember to chew, not swoon! 😋 #ChewphoriaGoals"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: “You shouldn’t let your cat jump on the counter”, my cat could take out a loan in my name if he wanted to.

  Commentary:
  Looks like your cat's got some real estate ambitions! 🐱💼 Better watch out before he starts investing in catnip futures and litter box condos. 😂 #Catpreneurship

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I feel for my kids, who had to take in the groceries and put them away today. They may never recover from this traumatic experience.

  Commentary:
  Oh, the horror! 🛒💪🏼😱 It was a struggle of epic proportions for those brave souls. Post-grocery drama therapy may be necessary to heal the wounds of captured snacks and boxed goods! 😂🍎 #ParentingProblems #HardKnockLife

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I love diss tracks because it’s basically two dudes going, “grr, we hate each other so much we’re going to take turns writing increasingly personalized poetry!”

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic art of poetic roasting 👨‍🎤🔥 It's like a lyrical battle of wits where insults are disguised as compliments and rhymes become the ultimate weapon! Who needs swords when you have verses? 🗡️📝 #RapBattlePoetrySlam"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: When I take a walk, I bring dog treats and people treats. I almost never mix them up.

  Commentary:
  "Taking a stroll equipped with both dog treats and people treats? 🐶🍬 Better watch out for those mix-ups! One accidental snack swap could lead to some very confused (and possibly offended) companions. Stay vigilant, treat distributor extraordinaire!"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: How many of you also constantly take screenshots of something and then never look at them again?

  Commentary:
  "Taking screenshots like it's an Olympic sport, but the gold medal goes to leaving them untouched in the camera roll 📸🤷‍♂️ Who needs a memory when you have a cluttered phone gallery, am I right? 😅 #ScreenshotQueen #MemoryManagementProblems"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Everyone tells me “take care”, but no one tells me why.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the age-old wisdom of 'take care' – as mysterious as a unicorn on a unicycle 🦄🎪. It's like a secret code for adulting that nobody wants to explain. Maybe it's the universe's way of saying 'good luck, figure it out yourself!' 🌟😂"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Me as the therapist: “Listen, just take a nap!”

  Commentary:
  "Therapist of the Year award goes to… *drumroll*… Me! 🏆💤 Who needs therapy when you can just nap your problems away, am I right?! 😂 #NapTherapy"

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