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129 Funny take quotes

Hate when you’re trying to take a nap and the dentist is all “Please open your mouth.”

3 months ago

Whenever I have a headache, I take 2 aspirin and keep away from children, just like it says on the bottle.

3 months ago

I already want to take a nap tomorrow.

3 months ago

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that you’re an expert on my life and how I should live it! Please continue while I take notes.

3 months ago

When I take a shower I’m: 5% cleaning myself, 10% singing, 85% making life changing decisions.

3 months ago

Why does the dentist have to take an x-ray of my teeth? They right there, bro!

3 months ago

If you make it through life without being portrayed in a murder documentary, take the win.

3 months ago

I don’t know about you guys, but when I have to make a decision I analyze the situation, evaluate the risk, take measures to limit the consequences and then I completely screw up.

3 months ago