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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

My watch battery is fully charged. So I got some time.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

After my death, I’ll be very busy. The list of people to whom I want to appear as a ghost is getting longer every day.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Suicide is never the answer, you gotta outlive your enemies.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Sometimes I do something completely out of character, like say no to a slice of pizza, or trust someone.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

This too shall pass. And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never fucking ends.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

A fun thing to do on a first date is wear a wedding dress.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Can I come over and be your midnight snack?

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

I’ve never been kissed under the cameltoe or whatever it’s called.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Santa punched a hole in my wall because I left him soy milk.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

No, baby, I’m not dumping you. I’m just rebranding myself as your ex.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2312 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,474

Funny Quotes Topics

15,183

Funny Quotes Images

12,474

Updated

28 minutes ago

Users Online

3,456

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

April fools prank: replace all the sugar in your house with cocaine.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I walk around like everything’s fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.

Going viral on Messenger:

I’ve decided that I need to eat more vegetables, so I’m gonna make a carrot cake later.

Shared recently on X:

Our childhood photos might be ugly but those smiles were definitely not fake.

Trending via YouTube:

Even worse than a spider is a spider that just disappeared.

Live now on Reddit:

Kids are like pancakes. The first one is always a bit strange.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Shoutout to coughing on the bus. Haven’t tried it myself but seems really popular.

Trending via Messenger:

An agenda reveal party, where I surprise everyone with all the things I hope to accomplish this weekend.

Going viral on Twitch:

80% of arguments start because someone hasn’t eaten yet.

Going viral on Discord:

Please don’t dm me with the intention of dating me. You deserve less.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2312 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,474

Funny Quotes Topics

15,183

Funny Quotes Images

12,474

Updated

28 minutes ago

Users Online

3,444

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

You’re telling me people get eight hours of sleep? Like in one night?

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

I SAID YES!!!!!! after I asked myself if I wanted a breakfast burrito.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Rain cancels plans, upsetting some and delighting others.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Zen and the Art of Empty Pockets.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Imagine if every time you stepped into an elevator, it played the “Mission Impossible” theme.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

I’m going to write a book about all the things I should have done with my life. l’ll call it my oughtabiography.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

My stress stresses me out to the point where I’m too stressed to deal with my stress.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

At this point, I’m not sure if my house is a mess or my mess is a house.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

If I would’ve known that you were going to ask me what I was thinking, I wouldn’t have been thinking what I was thinking.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Much like lasagna, I’m just held together by cheese at this point.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Oh you won a gold medal at the Olympics? My watch just congratulated me for standing up.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

“I’m getting tired of everything being 100 dollars and 100 degrees.”

Reported on Discord:

The thing I hate most about my stationary bike is having to pick it up and turn it around for the return trip.

Spotted on X:

(Talking to myself) I just don’t know what to tell you.

Trending via WhatsApp:

When I’m done eating… I have to show my hands to my cat, like I’m a blackjack dealer.

Trending via Reddit:

Why there is always a kid crying when I go to the store? Dude, you aren’t the one paying for it. Stop!

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Your opinions are not my business.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Every year, just in time for Christmas, when it’s freezing cold, the Coca Cola truck shows up. Now, in this freaking heat, it’s nowhere to be seen.

Spotted on X:

Hold on, let me overthink this.

Just shared via Instagram:

Therapy is life letting you speak to the manager.

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