12 funny tooth quotes - Wordgag ツ

“The heart wants what the heart wants,” I whisper as I slowly walk up to the dessert table.

Feb 3, 2026

My favorite part about health insurance is how your teeth and eyeballs are add-ons.

Feb 2, 2026

The idea that wisdom teeth are just some random glitch that God forgot to patch, so now we have to pull them out with modern technology, is retarded.

Feb 2, 2026

Brushing your teeth at night is a hellish chore. Walking from bed to bathroom feels harder than working in the mines all day. I’m getting pissed just thinking about it.

Jan 31, 2026

I like how the Tooth Fairy got the job, and then subbed it out to everyone’s parents. That’s called “business savvy.”

Jan 23, 2026

I’ve never met a cake I didn’t want to fork.

Jan 22, 2026

I could have done without braces back then. What’s the point of having perfect teeth if I have no reason to smile?

Jan 22, 2026

Shark tooth necklaces are the perfect accessory if you want to look tough but also tell the world, “I’ve been to a gift shop.”

Jan 22, 2026

The only thing smart about you is your wisdom tooth.

Jan 22, 2026

Imagine how scary sharks would be if they wore necklaces made out of our teeth.

Jan 21, 2026

Getting money from the Tooth Fairy is a gateway drug to organ trafficking.

Jan 20, 2026

I’m so lazy that I’ll break my tooth trying to get this tag off before I get up and get a scissor.

Jan 20, 2026