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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

That awkward moment your mom is doing the dishes and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need a new identity and a passport.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

On the surface: cool as a cucumber. On the inside: squirrel in traffic.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

I don’t understand why my cooking was garbage. I did everything right. I drank wine while I cooked. I had a hand towel over my shoulder. Literally everything right.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

I want a man to love me so bad his entire family thinks I did witchcraft on him.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

I’m too old to be jingling all the way, I’ll jingle til about five thirty.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Ctrl Alt delete my fat.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

My kids think I’m going to miss them when they leave for college, but I’ll be busy drinking my coffee while it’s still hot.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Toddlers: I’ve licked everything so everything is mine now.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

My bank account and I are no longer on speaking terms.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,376

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

I’m an expert at having a really funny story to tell and then wording it so badly that it’s not even funny anymore.

Just shared via WeChat:

I wonder if the fall of Rome was this stupid.

Going viral on Slack:

Someone asked me if I had any hobbies and I panicked and said “lasagna”.

Shared recently on Discord:

Finally my winter fat has gone. I now have spring rolls.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

You know it’s cold outside when you go outside and it’s cold.

Just shared via Facebook:

I am one step away from being rich, all I need now is money.

Going viral on Slack:

The only thing I gained so far this year is weight.

Just landed via Facebook:

Car insurance should give you back money at the end of the year for having no accidents.

Freshly posted on X:

Sitting on the middle seat of this flight and both my seatmates are reading my book over my shoulder. Should I just start reading it aloud?

Broadcasted on X:

They should invent a food that sounds good for dinner tonight.

Funny turkey quotes

Funny turkey quotes 🦃 bring laughter and festive vibes to your Thanksgiving celebrations! Whether you’re prepping the feast or sharing laughs around the table, these quirky sayings add a dash of humor and turkey-themed fun 🍂😂. Get ready to gobble up some chuckles and make your holiday gatherings extra memorable with lighthearted turkey humor! 🍁🥳

New funny turkey quotes 👇

All funny turkey quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m lazy and chubby. I love food, naps, and coffee. I don’t like Mondays, people, and exercise. I never thought I would grow up to be Garfield.

57 shares on YouTube this month:

I can now tell the hour of the day by which part of my body needs a heating pad.

23 shares on Threads this month:

Oh no, we don’t go in there. That room belongs to the spiders.

81 shares on Facebook this month:

The first bowl of cereal makes you want a second, but the second makes you wish you stopped at the first.

90 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Maybe you should embark on a strange journey.

51 shares on Slack this month:

Who is praying on my downfall right now and can you stop?

45 shares on Reddit this month:

Maybe the problem is that I’m cooler than any man I’ve ever met.

64 shares on Snapchat this month:

Why will Satan torture people in hell for disobeying the same God he disobeyed?

83 shares on TikTok this month:

The idea that the zombies in the 28 Days series exist entirely in Britain is genuinely hilarious. The rest of the world saw that and was like, “Yeah, they can handle it on their own.”

13 shares on Telegram this month:

You don’t need a therapist, you need an exorcist.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The marriage rate has been trending downward. Choreographed wedding dances may be the reason.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Fun fact: the creator of Barbie and the creator of Hot Wheels were husband and wife.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Caffeine: the adult version of fairy dust.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

You know those lines you see painted on parking lots? I know this will come as a shock to some of you, but you’re supposed to park between them.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

God: “You’re all really bad at this.”

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Everything’s under control. I just don’t know whose.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Cocktails can be tricky, because they taste like juice, but then the next thing you know… you can’t walk.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Call me dramatic, but I think I deserve a love confession in the rain.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m writing a book of obitchuaries for all the people who are dead to me.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Just rolled over for a cuddle.. forgot I’m single… fell off the bed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,328

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

80% of arguments start because someone hasn’t eaten yet.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

When the Beatles say, “Come together, right now, over me,” what was that about? Why did they say that?

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

I’m at the age where unnecessary noise be pissing me off.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

To everyone I’ve wronged this year. Next year same time, same place.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

If she says “you are my world” remember there are other planets. Stay alert, kings!

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

The woman that cleaned my house could make a lot of money by threatening to release the before and after photos.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

I don’t like people driving fast—that’s the reason why I overtake them.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

I love it when my dog suddenly gets up and goes to another part of the house. Did you just remember you left the stove on or something?

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

My dad told my sister’s new boyfriend to stand at the end of the picture so he can crop him out whenever she dumps him.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

I don’t need Halloween. I have strange characters around me all year round.

Live now on X:

I’m not lazy, I’m waiting for inspiration to hit me… should be here any time now.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Girlfriend is temporary, ex-girlfriend is forever.

Shared recently on Reddit:

He had the nerve to call me pretty. I’m gorgeous.

Just landed via Twitch:

I love canceling plans. I didn’t want to go in the first place. I just wanted to be invited.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I am thick and tired.

Making waves on Facebook:

If food delivery apps had never been invented, I would either be wildly rich or dead.

Freshly posted on Discord:

With great power comes the absolute certainty that you’ll turn into a right douche.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

My sleeping cycle is completely backwards. In the morning I feel sleepy and at night I can’t fall asleep.

Just landed via Discord:

You know you’re really stressed when you start getting on your own nerves.

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