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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Sorry, I’m late. I got here when I wanted to.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

When someone dies people say “he’s going to meet his Maker”. No he’s not. God doesn’t mingle with the staff.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Some days you just feel like a hotel microwave. You’re here, but you don’t have enough power to actually do anything.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

The concept of warding off vampires with crosses is so interesting to me. I wonder if it applies to any other religion or if they’re allergic to just Catholicism.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Who called them sea lions and not soggy doggies?

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Autumn at last. Sitting on the sofa all day with a blanket and tea and watching movies. Just like in summer, but with a blanket and tea.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

It always takes me an hour to get ready. 45 minutes for doing nothing and 15 hectic minutes for the rest.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

Me: “I’m still young.” My bones: “No, we not.”

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

You’re not going to believe this, but I was doing really well, and then your email found me.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

I’ll be honest. I can’t solve your problems. What I can do is create new, bigger problems that will make your current problems seem quaint by comparison.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

37 minutes ago

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

I know I seem a little crazy sometimes, but that’s because I AM.

Broadcasted on Slack:

“There are lots of benefits to working here. We have fun social events and activities after work!” And what are the benefits?

Reported on Threads:

They should invent something in between coffee and narcotics.

Making waves on Instagram:

Trying to spend less time on my phone so I can get back to something I’ve loved since childhood: watching TV.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Elect a clown, expect a circus.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Here’s your daily reminder to not forget about Dre.

Live now on Slack:

Just said “shitted feet” instead of “fitted sheet” in front of my my son and his friends. If you need me, I’ll be in the closet.

Making waves on Discord:

I can’t work under these festive conditions.

Making waves on Slack:

If it weren’t for this whole job thingy that pays me money, I’d become a professional nap taker.

Seen just now on Slack:

Thanks to AI, some of us went from being told by our parents not to trust the internet to having to tell our parents not to trust the internet.

Home » Funny Turkey Quotes

Funny turkey quotes

New funny turkey quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: The way turkeys feel about November is probably how treadmills feel about January.

Commentary:
Ah, November – the time when turkeys are feeling a bit nervous, while treadmills are gearing up for their moment in the spotlight come January! 🦃💪 It's all about perspective and priorities, right? So, let's embrace the turkey trot and treadmill dash with equal enthusiasm! 🏃‍♂️🤣 #ThanksgivingGoals
6 months ago
Share →: 76% of pardoned turkeys end up back in the system.

Commentary:
"Looks like those turkeys just can't stay out of trouble! 🦃🚓 Maybe they're just too used to living life on the edge of the Thanksgiving table. Watch out for these repeat offenders… they might just be planning their next great escape! 🤣 #turkeytrouble"
6 months ago
Share →: By accepting their pardons, the turkeys are admitting guilt.

Commentary:
"Looks like the turkeys are all 'gobble-guilty'! 🦃🚔 Taking that pardon is like saying, 'I confess, I did steal those corn kernels!' 😂 #TurkeysOnTrial"
6 months ago
Share →: I purposely overcook my holiday turkeys so I don’t have to hear anyone at the table say, “moist.”

Commentary:
"Ah, the strategic overcooking approach – a brilliant method to avoid the infamous 'moist' discussion at the table 🦃🔥 Who knew the path to a peaceful holiday feast involved sacrificing a crispy turkey skin? 😂"

For even more funny turkey quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny turkey quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

37 minutes ago

3,419

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Why did Star Wars Episodes 4, 5 & 6 come out before 1,2 & 3? Because in charge of directing, Yoda was.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Can anyone recommend some good behaviors for someone who just started behaving?

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

I hate when I have dreams about work. I’m not getting paid to interact with these people on my time off!

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Shoutout to all ladies dating silently without making noise on social media. May God give you another man as a bonus.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

The most annoying child in our house is that of my mother-in-law.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Have come to the devastating realization that I am an over-nodder on video calls.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Make every hug more interesting by mysteriously whispering, “the Dark Lord stands at the crossroads!”

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Dear Santa, I’ve been good all year. Most of the time. Once in a while. Never mind, I’ll buy my own stuff.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Sorry I’m late. I was scraping the clearance tag off your Christmas present.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

I can be social. Today I meowed at my cat and he meowed back.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

With age comes wisdom. And digestive trouble.

Just landed via Slack:

You haven’t experienced proper anger until you have a sister.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Why does it take 5-7 days to refund me when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out?

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Can’t believe we stayed up and screamed “Happy New Year” for this shit.

Trending via TikTok:

Body: Time to sleep. Brain: Hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

Reported on Reddit:

Spider-Man, but set in rural England so he just has to walk everywhere.

Going viral on Messenger:

It turns out, as you get older, you don’t actually figure anything out; you just don’t have any energy to care anymore.

Reported on Messenger:

Throwing a spear at your enemy is a bad gamble. If you miss, you have no spear now and he’s just fine. He’s better than fine; now he has a spear.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

My superpower? I can look you right in the eyes while you’re talking and not hear a single word you said.

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