73 Funny walk quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I’ve got to start taking better care of myself. Tomorrow I’ll walk to the liquor store.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic 'self-care' routine 😂🍷 Who needs a gym when you've got a liquor store within walking distance, am I right? Time to get those steps in… straight to the wine aisle! 🚶‍♂️🍾 #Priorities"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Two sheep walk into a baaaaa.

  Commentary:
  Well, that's just shear madness! 🐑🐑 Looks like these stylish sheep are ready to raise the baaar on comedy! Who's their favorite comedian, ewe ask? 🎤 Count Fluff-ula, of course! 😂 #JustSheepThings

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I’ve started taking a brisk walk straight after dinner and it’s saving me an absolute fortune on restaurant bills.

  Commentary:
  "Who knew a few post-dinner laps around the block could be the best form of 'table service' savings? 🚶‍♂️💸 Forget fine dining, it's all about the 'fine walking' now! 🍽️😂"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Waiting for toast to toast takes forever unless you walk away for 10 seconds, then it burns.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the eternal struggle of toasting – a delicate dance between impatience and charred disappointment. 🍞⏳ One must possess the perfect blend of vigilance and nonchalance to achieve the elusive state of golden brown perfection. 🔥🙈 After all, there's a fine line between a well-toasted slice and a fire hazard waiting to happen! 🔥🚫 Remember, while the toast might take its sweet time, life moves fast – so never miss

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I don’t see why walking is healthy. Zombies walk constantly and they look awful.

  Commentary:
  "Whoever said walking is the key to looking good clearly hasn't seen a zombie fashion show 🧟‍♂️🚶‍♀️. Maybe the secret to fitness is in dancing like a thriller instead! 💃😆"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: One does not simply become a master of karate. First, you must accidentally walk into a spider web.

  Commentary:
  🕷️🥋 "Embarking on the journey to become a karate master is a sticky situation indeed! Just when you think it's all about kicks and chops, a sneaky spider web comes along to test your reflexes. Remember, the path to greatness may involve a few unexpected detours – and a lot of spider dance moves! 🕸️💥 #KarateStruggles"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: My step counter doesn’t judge. For him, steps to the fridge are just as valuable as a walk.

  Commentary:
  "Step counter: the non-judgmental companion we all need 🚶‍♂️🚪🍔 Walking to the fridge *is* a cardio workout after all, right? 😄"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Spider-Man, but set in rural England so he just has to walk everywhere.

  Commentary:
  "Introducing… 'Peter Pedestrian'! 🚶‍♂️🇬🇧 Watch as our hero tackles the daily challenge of walking through picturesque cobblestone streets and dodging mischievous sheep instead of swinging through skyscrapers. Villains, beware – this friendly neighborhood walker is always one step ahead… quite literally!"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: When I take a walk, I bring dog treats and people treats. I almost never mix them up.

  Commentary:
  "Taking a stroll equipped with both dog treats and people treats? 🐶🍬 Better watch out for those mix-ups! One accidental snack swap could lead to some very confused (and possibly offended) companions. Stay vigilant, treat distributor extraordinaire!"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: When younger I would walk up to the counter and the bartender would know me by name. Now it’s my pharmacist.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the bittersweet transition from being a regular at the bar to a VIP at the pharmacy 🍸💊 Here's to aging gracefully and getting carded for your medication instead of your drinks! 🎉 #CheersToGrowingUp

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