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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

I get ignored so much, my name should be “terms and conditions”.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

No, you tell me what YOU were doing during that gap in my resume.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

I hate when people are like “you are so nice”. I’m ugly, I have no other choice.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

My cat, who has no job and pays no rent, is apparently unhappy with his fancy new cat food, and I, for some reason, am currently on my way back to the store to rectify the matter.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

Sometimes happiness is just having a good night’s sleep.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Why is it called Christian community and not Holyfans?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

How soon into a new relationship should you let her know you’re an idiot?

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Due to personal reasons, I’m evil now.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this makes no sense, microwave.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

The more nicknames I have for you, the more I like you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

798 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,960

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,960

Updated

53 minutes ago

Users Online

3,432

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

If we start dating now, we could be feeding each other deviled eggs on Thanksgiving, and breaking up before we have to exchange gifts for Christmas.

Shared recently on WeChat:

It’s funny how when you’re at work, “Go to hell” comes out as “No problem.”

Just landed via Slack:

Fitness influencer: It’s important to listen to your body. Body: You’re old. And you want lasagna.

Shared recently on TikTok:

We need a true crime show called Downtown Stabby.

Spotted on YouTube:

If a woman watches a TV show alone, who answers all of her questions?

Spotted on Threads:

The clitoris has 8,000 nerves, if you gonna get on my nerves, get on one of those.

Breaking via X:

Those who run away from me are afraid that they might confess their love to me.

Just shared via Twitch:

I bought a little bag of air today. The company that made it was kind enough to put some potato chips in it as well.

Going viral on Messenger:

They all cheat, lie and manipulate. Just pick the pretty one.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I like online shopping and putting everything I want in a cart, then checking my subtotal and laughing and closing the tab.

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Funny wizard quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

798 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,960

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,960

Updated

53 minutes ago

Users Online

3,449

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

The more I parent the more convinced I am that the ears on toddlers are purely for decoration.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

You should never forget where you came from. That’s probably where your keys are.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Is there a bravery award I can nominate my son for as he managed to eat his toast despite the fact I cut it wrong.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Has someone told the whales that they can’t sing?

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

I’m officially at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to go anywhere after work.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

My kids are smart but sometimes they say dumb stuff like, “Mom, why do you always buy Snickers when you’re the only one who likes them?”

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

God: “I’m all-knowing but I’d rather be all-forgetting.”

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Comments other people make during a movie are annoying. Comments I make during a movie enhance the experience.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Got banned from the sauna at my gym for saying “steam me up, Scotty” a few too many times.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Getting older is sexy. You moan more.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

Telling your parents about your problems is like trying to put out a fire with gasoline.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Sorry, I can’t hang out tomorrow. I hung out with people a week ago and I’m still recovering from that.

Seen just now on TikTok:

If you’re gonna spend so much time in my head, would it kill you to tidy up a bit?

Trending via X:

Computers used to scream out in pain when we connected to the internet. This was a warning and we did not heed it.

Trending via TikTok:

Cats hear everything. They just don’t care.

Shared recently on Slack:

A late person is never happier than when the person they’re meeting is later than them.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Don’t wait for later to eat the cake. Do it now, before another mammal of your household finds it.

Reported on WhatsApp:

Cheating on a partner should affect your credit score.

Just landed via Facebook:

Notice how you don’t catch me in public, it’s because i’m not real.

Spotted on Messenger:

Before ball parks were invented there was pretty much no way to give someone a rough estimate.

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