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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Daniel Craig leaving Bond to become Benoit Blanc is one of the best things to ever happen.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

My career goal is to be able to just delete my LinkedIn account at some point.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Getting a wax is wild, like you really just be bust open talking to the lady like it’s nothing.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Worst feeling is playing a game and having nobody to talk to about it.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

The concept of a drive-by doesn’t really exist in the swamp biome; instead, people rap about doing bog-emerges.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Based on the amount of laundry I wash each week, I’m starting to think there are people who live here that I haven’t met yet.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Imagine you’re on jury duty and the courtroom sketch artist draws stink lines above you.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Helpful police officer reminded me he’s the one asking the questions.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Painted a big H in my garden to see if I can trap a helicopter. Wish me luck!

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Mashed potatoes are just German guacamole.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

235 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,504

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,504

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,726

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

Just a friendly reminder folks. Don’t forget to set back your rooster this weekend.

Going bananas on Slack:

Stop bringing shitty Bluetooth speakers on hikes. No one came to the woods to hear you listen to Katy Perry.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

They should invent a situationship that turns into something beautiful.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Before you have kids, ask yourself: how patient am I with really stupid people?

Shared recently on Messenger:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the first twelve digits of pi.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Nice tweets, bro. What medications are you on?

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

God: “Free will was a bad idea. I should have charged for it.”

Shared recently on Discord:

My stomach just made the exact sound of the “your” in “your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice messaging system.”

Going viral on Pinterest:

One of the top features of squirrels, for me, has got to be that squirreliness.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Walking into someone’s house with healthy, thriving houseplants everywhere: “Oh, I see you dabble in witchcraft!”

Funny wizard quotes

Funny wizard quotes 🧙‍♂️✨ bring a magical twist to your day with a sprinkle of humor and a dash of spellbinding wit! Whether you’re a fan of mystical mumbo jumbo or just love a good laugh with a wand in hand, these quirky sayings will charm your socks off 🧦🎉. Get ready to giggle and conjure up some smiles with the funniest wizard wisdom around! 🪄😄

New funny wizard quotes 👇

All funny wizard quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on Threads this month:

I embarrass myself in front of myself.

19 shares on Facebook this month:

I know everything is expensive right now, but just remember correcting people’s grammar online is still free.

96 shares on Discord this month:

I’m never drinking again, unless something is going on later today.

63 shares on Telegram this month:

Be nice to your children’s teachers. Especially elementary ones, cause kids have loose lips and that teacher has all the dirt on you.

87 shares on Facebook this month:

I remember when a computer didn’t automatically connect to the internet, it used to make a screaming noise. We should have listened.

49 shares on YouTube this month:

I kind of miss when people stood 6 feet away.

98 shares on Slack this month:

May her tire get flat with a dude who can’t change it.

33 shares on Facebook this month:

If liars’ pants really did catch on fire, watching the news would be a lot more fun.

27 shares on Pinterest this month:

Marriage is like a phone call at the night: First there’s the ring, and then you wake up.

22 shares on Messenger this month:

My mom is asking each ornament, “Where do you want to live?” before putting them on the tree.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

When someone tells me “They could care less”, instead of the proper “I couldn’t care less”, I always say “At least you care.”

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Girls be like, “I know a spot,” then sacrifice you under the full moon.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Checked myself, but unfortunately, after I wrecked myself.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to middle age. Everything you encounter is either blurry or too loud now.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I used to work at McDonald’s and we only told ugly people that the ice cream machine was broken. So I have bad news if you were ever denied ice cream.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent something in between coffee and narcotics.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter is a weapon of mass distraction.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Why is the debate at night time? Let’s get this thing started at 4pm. I don’t need to get riled up so close to bedtime.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t like being asked “are you at home?” Please expand further so I can know whether I’m at home or not.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

All I know for sure is that I could be wrong.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

235 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,504

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,504

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,661

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Hi, I’m online. Would you like to argue for an hour about whether a hotdog is a sandwich?

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

I met a microbiologist today. He was a lot bigger than I expected.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

I generally don’t know what the hell I’m doing, but I’m really good at it.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

The way I forget stuff at my age, I just know it is over for me after 50.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

75% of being a divorce lawyer is just answering emails from clients saying, “No. No. No. You absolutely cannot do that, no.”

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Dear brain, please finally learn the difference between hunger and boredom. I’m getting fat.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Making a cult with only intuitive introverts so we can all sit in silence, side-eyeing each other suspiciously.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

“Turn down for what?” My ears, fella. My ears.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

If you ghosted me, don’t come back. Maintain that energy, babe. Stay dead.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

The clitoris has 8,000 nerves, if you gonna get on my nerves, get on one of those.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

I hate it when I go to hug someone sexy and hit my head on the mirror.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Seeing a beautiful woman drink her beer is like witnessing an angel take flight.

Trending via Telegram:

Hey babe, wanna come over and fold me like a fitted sheet?

Shared recently on Telegram:

I taught my kids about democracy tonight by having them vote on which movie to watch and pizza to order. I then picked the movie and pizza because I’m the one with the money.

Going viral on TikTok:

Welcome to your 40’s: See that kid dressed up like a cop? He is a cop.

Spotted on Instagram:

Some people spend a fortune so they can circle the world. I drink some beer and the world circles around me.

Trending via X:

Maybe Rome was built in a day. I wasn’t there.

Shared recently on Discord:

I accidentally hit a parked car, so I left them a note that said “next time it will be you”.

Seen just now on TikTok:

My favorite conspiracy theory is that things will get better.

Just landed via Discord:

I will selflessly protect my family from a life of diabetes by eating all the sweets myself.

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