Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: The only time anyone should watch the news is to study how psychological manipulation works on the general public.

Commentary:
"Ah, the news – where sensational headlines reign supreme and the drama unfolds like a soap opera 🎭! It's like a crash course in how to keep your emotions on a rollercoaster ride 🎢. Just remember to bring your popcorn and a healthy dose of skepticism! 🍿🧐 #StayWoke"
6 months ago
Share →: The human brain is great. It works from the second you are born and stops as soon as you start liking someone.

Commentary:
"Ah, the incredible multitasking genius of the human brain! 🧠 From figuring out complex concepts to navigating social situations, it never fails to impress. But watch out folks, as soon as those butterflies flutter in your stomach, all bets are off! 🦋 Love: 1, Brain: 0. The struggle is real, folks. 😂 #BrainVsLove"
6 months ago
Share →: Sleep when the baby sleeps, eat when the baby eats, work when the baby works.

Commentary:
"Ah, the whimsical life motto of a new parent: Sleep when the baby sleeps (aka never), eat when the baby eats (hello, cold leftovers), work when the baby works (endless diaper duty). 🍼💤👶 Who needs a personal schedule anyway?"
6 months ago
Share →: Sex is cool, but have you ever had a can opener that actually works?

Commentary:
"Sex is cool and all, but let's talk about the satisfaction of smoothly opening a can with a can opener that actually works 💪🥫 Who needs romance when you have the perfect tool for your beans and tuna? 😂 #Priorities"
6 months ago
Share →: The female brain works like the internet. You can delete something, but it’s never really gone.

Commentary:
Oh, the female brain – akin to the internet, where nothing truly disappears! 🤯🙈 It's like trying to erase that embarrassing photo from your phone, only for it to resurface at the most inconvenient moment! 📸💥 So remember, be careful what you input into the female brain – it has a mind of its own! 😉💭
6 months ago
Share →: Billion dollar technology idea: A printer that works.

Commentary:
"Finally, a revolutionary innovation that might just change the world: A printer that actually PRINTS when you need it to 🖨️💸 Who would've thought such a simple concept could be worth billions?!"
6 months ago
Share →: I was disappointed to learn today that my request for a sabbatical was rejected. Apparently that’s “not how marriage works.”

Commentary:
Ah, the harsh reality of marriage – it's not all sabbaticals and relaxation! 🤣 Looks like someone didn't get the memo that "for better or for worse" includes vacation time! 💔 #MarriageStruggles #SabbaticalDenied
6 months ago
Share →: Before Google, if you didn’t know something you had to go ask someone and most of the time they couldn’t help you, and now that’s also how Google works.

Commentary:
Ah, the good old days when asking for directions led to friendly banter and getting lost! Now with Google, finding answers is like asking your unhelpful friend who claims they know everything but ends up just as clueless 🤷‍♂️🔍.
6 months ago
Share →: Not all works of art are in a museum. I, for example, am lying on the couch at home.

Commentary:
"Who needs a museum when you are a masterpiece in the comfort of your own home? 🛋️🎨 Embrace your inner artistry, even if it comes with a side of Netflix and snacks! 🍿✨ #HomeIsWhereTheArtIs"
6 months ago
Share →: I’m writing a fairytale about a printer that just works.

Commentary:
Once upon a time, in the distant land of Wi-Fily Ever After, there lived a magical printer that actually did what it was supposed to do – print without any fuss or drama! 🧚‍♂️🖨️ No paper jams, no ink smudges, just pure printing perfection! The villagers rejoiced, for they knew their fairytale endings were just a click away… #PrinterGoals 📜✨