Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

The key to looking amazing is looking like shit most of the time, so it’s more of a surprise.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Super excited for a brand new week of hoping for the best, but expecting the worst.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

For security reasons, I highly recommend that you leave one of your children home during the holidays to set elaborate booby traps in case of intruders.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

The masculine urge to hitch your pants up after making a minor decision.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

Sorry for running at you on all fours, I was excited to see you.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Every time I stand up, my dog gets excited as hell. He understands that I’m a real man who can make shit happen at any given moment.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m not even sure what I’m doing on this planet.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Petition to add fitted sheet folding to the olympics.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Every email sent to me should end with ‘but if your tummy is hurting, don’t worry about it.’

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Being insane should at least burn calories.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,451

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Snapchat:

I hate when people call my phone! I don’t use it for that.

Just shared via Telegram:

If you put a pizza on top of a pizza, you have two pizzas. But if you stack two lasagnas, then you still have one lasagna.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Marriage is just asking each other, “What do you want to do for dinner?” and then replying, “No, not that,” until death do us part.

Live now on Twitch:

Aliens only abduct the people that are already nuts so no one will believe them when they try and tell everyone.

Spotted on Discord:

What part of “hiii” do you not get? I’m in love with you.

Making waves on Snapchat:

(lost in the labyrinth and I’m wearing a Fitbit) Nice, got my 10,000 steps.

Just landed via Discord:

Breaking: man who liked me first no longer likes me.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I was neglecting my root chakra at the time, your honor.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

They say half the battle of getting in shape is mental, so I thought about the gym really hard today.

Freshly posted on X:

“My family doesn’t have a black sheep,” I say, while everyone avoids eye contact.

Funny Zealand quotes

Funny Zealand quotes bring a hilarious twist to all things Kiwi 🇳🇿, capturing the quirky charm and cheeky spirit of this island nation 😂🌿 Whether you’re a local or just love a good laugh, these witty lines will have you grinning from ear to ear 😄✨ Perfect for sharing with friends or brightening up your day with some lighthearted fun! 🎉📜

New funny Zealand quotes 👇

All funny Zealand quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on Pinterest this month:

Me (young, naive): “I hope something good happens.” Me (now): “I hope whatever bad happens is at least funny.”

59 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Situationship where the situation is being madly in love with each other.

36 shares on Snapchat this month:

I hate when I finish a show and don’t know what to do with my life.

79 shares on Facebook this month:

Men will ruin your whole life then come back and like your story.

82 shares on YouTube this month:

When I’m at a party, I pretend to be Pac-Man. I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.

70 shares on Reddit this month:

I find myself thinking “God, I need a cigarette” way too often for someone who doesn’t actually smoke.

89 shares on Telegram this month:

He called me delusional, but I think he meant delicious.

36 shares on Facebook this month:

The way Christmas shopping expects me to have money right now is, honestly, disrespectful.

98 shares on Instagram this month:

Pro tip: Invest in pasta companies. Worth every penne.

33 shares on TikTok this month:

Got fired on my first day working at the drugstore for calling my new coworkers ‘my pharmily’.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Meetings are a wonderful way to help your employees take a break from being productive.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Look, the problem with The Life of a Showgirl is that, for maybe the first time in her music career, Taylor Swift has nothing to say.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Babe, wake up, it’s stupid outside!

9 folks are currently checking 👀

20s: LOL! 30s: OMG! 40s: WTF!

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Okay, that’s enough todaying for today.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Life is just a series of Sopranos references with some other things mixed in.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I love airports because the rules of society don’t apply. Eat a pizza and have a glass of wine at 7 am while in track pants. Nobody cares.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

My four moods: I’m too old for doing that. I’m too tired for doing that. I’m too sober for doing that. I don’t have time for doing that.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Yes, my date did get up and leave during dinner, but luckily she hadn’t finished her food.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Your call is very important to us, here’s six days of irritating music.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,703

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

You can’t convince me that 2020 didn’t open a portal to hell that we’re still living in.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Single bells, single bells, single all the way. Oh, what fun it is to watch those couples fight all day, yay!

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

I spend all day on Facebook so that Mark Zuckerberg can eat.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

My favorite part of parenting is when they’re asleep.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

I have no beef with vegetarians.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Every time you break spaghetti noodles in half, an Italian has a stroke.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

May your life one day be as beautiful as you portray it on social media.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

“Grey’s Anatomy” but it’s told entirely through the lens of the hospital’s HR department.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Ohhh, I just realised you can change your facial expression. I was just doing the one.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

At Christmas time, all outstanding invoices are always transferred with the reference “Hohoho”.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

Sundays are no place for pants or responsibility.

Going bananas on Threads:

I don’t understand why people have to “get ready for bed.” I am always ready for bed.

Making waves on Facebook:

I have lots of hidden talents. The problem is, even I can’t find them.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

The longer I stay home, the more homeless I look.

Seen just now on Slack:

I’m always happy when I come home from shopping and the note on the table reminds me of what I wanted to buy.

Just landed via Slack:

I fractured my laziness and dislocated my interest.

Making waves on X:

I’m so bored of being bored, because being bored is really boring.

Breaking via Telegram:

Watching Jaws with my kid because I’m sick of going to the beach.

Just landed via Slack:

Pretty annoying when someone unfollows me before I can conduct their exit interview.

Just landed via Twitch:

It’s always a huge relief when I’m reading a list of symptoms of a deadly disease, and it says unexplained weight loss.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴