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Someone from has viewed:

Petition to bring back payphones in public places. I don’t want to give my kid a phone, I want to give him a quarter.

Someone from has shared:

You’d be surprised how many times you can use the word succulent in a work email.

Someone from has downloaded:

You’re not going to believe this, but I was doing really well, and then your email found me.

Someone from has bookmarked:

Accidentally wore a blue shirt to Walmart and now I’m in the stockroom showing Sue how to use the forklift.

Someone from has shared:

Twitter when Franz Ferdinand got shot would have been the best day ever.

Someone from has viewed:

Do we lazy people actually go to heaven? Or are we being picked up?

Someone from has viewed:

You gotta be careful: don’t say a word to nobody about nothing anytime ever.

Someone from has shared:

“It’s the most wonderful crime of the year!” I crooned running away with the pot of Santa’s donations.

Someone from has viewed:

Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves while he does.

Someone from has viewed:

Texting my boss to let him know how excited I am for work tomorrow.

Funny Quotes Data

New Funny Quotes

734 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,896

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13,871

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Social Media Log

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

The first person to throw out bath water: Uh oh.

Trending via WeChat:

Go ahead. Order anything you want. Money is no object when we dine at IKEA.

Spotted on Twitch:

I love saying “why would I lie” when I’m lying.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I wonder if Van Halen realized they were writing music just to lift weights to.

Broadcasted on Threads:

I bet oiling and wrapping potatoes in aluminum foil feels so good for the potato.

Going viral on Discord:

If your boyfriend insists he rolls everywhere because it’s ‘faster than walking’, you may be dating a gamer.

Trending via Snapchat:

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow just as well.

Live now on YouTube:

If we start dating now, we could be feeding each other deviled eggs on Thanksgiving, and breaking up before we have to exchange gifts for Christmas.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Don’t invite me places. I was cesarean. I didn’t want to come out then and I certainly don’t want to now.

Live now on X:

People that tell us what sex gods they are, what do you want us to do with that information?

Home » Funny Zealand Quotes

Funny Zealand quotes

New funny Zealand quotes

6 months ago
Share →: Friends with no kids are like: Want to go to New Zealand this Friday?

Commentary:
"Friends with no kids are out here making plans like: 'Want to go to New Zealand this Friday?' Meanwhile, my schedule is more like: 'Want to go to the grocery store this Friday… after nap time.' "
6 months ago
Share →: Can we not just call it Zealand now?

Commentary:
“New Zealand, old identity crisis? Can we give this country an all-new makeover and just call it Zealand already? #NameGameStrong”