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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

“Are you single?” No, I’m in a hallucinationship.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Can we bring back the lost art of just hanging out at your friends house doing absolutely nothing?

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Your future doctor is using ChatGPT to pass med school so you better start eating healthy.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Sorry, Mom, I can’t go outside, I’m ugly.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Home is where the clothes rack stands in the way.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

I love how my brain is like, “We’re not going to think about that,” and then thinks about only that.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Because it is Friday, I will allow one beautiful woman to invite me for drinks.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

People will be like “Nobody cares about your Spotify Wrapped,” and then post a picture of their baby.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

I be outside telling people I don’t got social media when they ask.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

I might look calm, but in my head I’ve punched you in the face three times.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,629

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

There are three certainties in life: death, taxes and getting stuck behind a shit driver when you’re late.

Trending via X:

I don’t carry my wallet to work because I’m afraid someone will steal it while I’m sleeping.

Just shared via Discord:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I didn’t want to go to work tomorrow morning.

Trending via Twitch:

When I die and y’all go through my search history, you’ll be disappointed to find mostly just definitions for very common words that I wasn’t sure I was using correctly.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

How long past date can I eat eggs? Like are they still good or am I naming them now?

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I disagree with everyone and think relationships should be easy.

Spotted on X:

Eating cookies left for Santa because the cowboy was a no show.

Going viral on Discord:

Dear sleep, I’m sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back!

Live now on TikTok:

The sun really clocks out for the day before I do. That’s insane.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Found a picture of me sitting on Santa’s lap. Hard to believe it’s been a whole year.

I don’t understand baby oil. What are we greasing up all those babies for?

I don’t understand baby oil. What are we greasing up all those babies for?
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, one thing's for sure – those babies must be preparing for some serious slip 'n slide competitions! 🌊😄 But really, maybe baby oil is just their secret weapon to escape diaper duty smoothly 🍼💫.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on YouTube this month:

There’s something fundamentally wrong with the way people interact with each other on LinkedIn.

14 shares on Pinterest this month:

When I am calculating any risk, I think to myself: is this first cat life behavior? Or ninth cat life behavior?

99 shares on Reddit this month:

Starting my period on election day because I’m a true patriot who bleeds for this country.

21 shares on Discord this month:

Adulting is realizing Monday is a better ‘off day’ than Friday.

64 shares on Pinterest this month:

When I was a child, my social network was called ‘outside’.

15 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When they ask “how was your weekend?” answer “better than yours” and maintain eye contact.

35 shares on Discord this month:

Nobody is doing it like me because this is probably not the right way to do it.

34 shares on Twitch this month:

I wonder if my bank account thinks about me and has panic attacks.

97 shares on Telegram this month:

My unemployed neighbor with an unlimited firework budget would like to wish everyone a happy 9th of July.

58 shares on WeChat this month:

Quickie so fast, it’s called secs.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I want my boyfriend to be so hot strangers know he’s not funny.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Everybody hates me for being a beautiful angel with a perfect soul.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Traveling long distance without earphones feels like you’re serving a jail term.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I mostly choose to stay silent in weird situations but my face has subtitles.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, I’m late. I got caught up at home being happy.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I love how women can go from obsessed to not interested at all when a man makes that one wrong move.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so old, I used to cry as a child because I fell off my skateboard or bike, not because I didn’t have wifi.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I woke up from a deep sleep in a panic thinking I was late for work. Thankfully, I was already there.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I like deadlines. They make me functional.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The world is my oyster and I’m allergic to shellfish.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,621

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Every frozen pizza is a canvas that needs an artist’s touch.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

I woke up extra early today to get in as much ‘worrying about it being Monday tomorrow’ as possible.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Let’s go out for carrots sometime.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Pro tip: Avoid the news for a couple of days and have some fun.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

It’s fun getting room service. I just love eating a $19 hamburger at a desk in front of a mirror.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

The real flex is how many wounds you can turn into wisdom.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

“Treat yourself. You deserve it,” she says while adding the shoes to her cart.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Blink if you want me!

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Anyone know if we got the meek inheriting the Earth today?

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Right before rock bottom, you’ll have a city builder game on your phone.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

If the USA is so great, why did someone make the USB?

Live now on Discord:

Duolingo should have an “I’m going on holiday to this place very soon” setting so it teaches you “can I have the bill” and so on instead of “the cow boils an egg”.

Shared recently on Slack:

The lack of a pope has got me acting wild.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I want to live in a world where TV sitcoms have catchy theme songs again.

Just landed via Discord:

Why did they call it K-pop and not Seoul music?

Just shared via WeChat:

“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!” Oh, it’s ok, you can just kill me next time.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Nothing says entitlement like a goose family crossing the road.

Making waves on Facebook:

Psychiatry is crazy because they’re just like… Oh, you’re really depressed? Would being on a pill that makes you fat help?

Just shared via LinkedIn:

“I thought it might be nice to go around the room and have everyone introduce themselves, including a fun fact.” You thought wrong.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Why is everyone so chill about parrots being able to talk? That’s a whole animal. Talking.

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