Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

I don’t understand why my husband has to pay for a UFC fight when he could just throw one piece of candy on the floor in front of our kids.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

“You’re crazy.” God forbid I keep my family traits alive.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

Me as the therapist: “Listen, just take a nap!”

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

I have many talents, all equally un-monetizable.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

You’re an adult if you’re happy every time the mailbox is empty.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Mouse in a conference call: hold on, I’m gonna put you on squeakerphone.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Phones are wild… we really just sit around tapping glass all day.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

I’m so hungry, I could eat my own cooking.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

I am re-watching “Narcos,” and I have to say that for someone who smokes so much weed, Pablo Escobar gets a lot done.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

I always take two stairs at a time, that way if I fall, it’s only half the distance.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,309

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

It’s a good thing that not everyone has a smartphone. We also need people who honk when the lights turn green.

Just landed via Facebook:

I got fired for telling customers if they wanted “smoking or non-smoking”. Apparently, the correct term in the funeral home business is “cremation or burial”.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Just realised if I have a kid, they’re likely to see the year 2100… WTF?

Shared recently on Instagram:

I tried being the bigger person but all it got me was type 2 diabetes.

Just shared via Slack:

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

Breaking via YouTube:

I swear the air gets heavier around 6 p.m. on Sundays. You can feel the Microsoft Teams energy approaching.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

No, baby, I’m not dumping you. I’m just rebranding myself as your ex.

Just shared via Discord:

Of course there’s birth control for men. It’s called the way they act.

Just landed via WeChat:

Seeing my kids getting along, laughing, and peacefully playing together is the best minute of my day.

Trending via TikTok:

I was going to cause mischief tonight, but I climbed into my bed instead.

I’m not lazy, I’m an inactivist.

3 weeks ago

Humorous text about laziness, calling oneself an "inactivist" instead of lazy.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, I see what you did there! Embracing inactivity with style, huh? 😄 Why be labeled as lazy when you can proudly claim the title of an "inactivist" instead! Just remember, even the most dedicated inactivists need to get up occasionally to stretch those legs… and maybe grab a snack! 🛋️💤

humor, inactivist, irony, lazy, motivation, procrastination

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

16 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t know what i’m going to be for Halloween, so I’m probably just going to put in a tampon and go as a sexy kite.

51 shares on Pinterest this month:

Oligarchy sounds like something you dip your breadstick in at the olive garden.

98 shares on Threads this month:

The urge to buy people gifts they’ve mentioned they liked once.

89 shares on Threads this month:

If trees offered Wi-Fi, we would plant more of them. Too bad they only produce this oxygen thing.

19 shares on TikTok this month:

A lobotomy and a forehead kiss would fix everything.

81 shares on TikTok this month:

A big shout-out to all the beekeepers. Our unstung heroes.

10 shares on Messenger this month:

Nothing you want to do has a timeline.

43 shares on Reddit this month:

“I’m disgusted by how many of you still use Spotify. I use a fair trade, ethically conscientious mom-and-pop platform called Apple Music.”

46 shares on Twitch this month:

The amount of family secrets you uncover as you get older is wild.

16 shares on Messenger this month:

Why is there a level 6 for toasters? As if someone thinks: “Tonight I’m really in the mood for ashes with butter!”

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Waking up early is cool until it starts feeling like you’ve had a long day at 10 a.m.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve literally never copied and pasted text and thought, “I’m so glad it kept the formatting and font from the other document.”

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Taking my heart off my sleeve, I fold it up neatly and carefully place it back inside my chest.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Your favorite little ball of silliness has logged in.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Sucking melted cheese off the burger wrapper as God intended.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’d probably be a very chill werewolf, even during a full moon.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My secret talent is turning any situation into a considerably more awkward one.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

God, I wish I had enough money to discover it doesn’t make me happy.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I need someone to wring out my brain like a dishrag.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,723

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Remember when tweets were like: party rocking with a mouse tonight. Piece of cheese gonna have a big bite.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

I get it cicadas, I’m ready to scream for six weeks too.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

I don’t know why hair extensions are exclusive to women, I want to look like a centaur.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Someone asked me what my hobby was and I realized that my favorite hobby is doing absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

It’s so hot, I just saw a squirrel fanning its nuts.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Super excited for a brand new week of hoping for the best, but expecting the worst.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Sex is cool but have you ever had your bed all to yourself.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

You know it’s bad when people start telling you that you are the strongest person they’ve ever met.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Why does everyone always think that I know what I’m doing? Most of the time I watch myself in amazement and am curious to see what happens.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

When the Olympics finally introduces the event “Dropping your phone and very nearly catching it but not quite” then you’ll all see me shine.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

Thinking about stepping down from being an adult, I’m just not in the right headspace for this position right now. I really appreciate the opportunity though.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Kinda miss when crushes were butterflies instead of complex emotional calculations about compatibility and red flags.

Just landed via Threads:

If you think I’m annoying, give it some time. You’ll know for sure pretty soon.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I’m a social media influencer in that I’ve influenced people to ignore me on social media.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I’m a huge fan of saying “You’re welcome” really loudly when people don’t say thank you.

Trending via YouTube:

I just wish I had the confidence of my husband who thinks everything only takes 5 minutes.

Shared recently on WeChat:

People remind me everyday why I prefer being on my own.

Freshly posted on X:

You lose some, you lose some more.

Making waves on Slack:

The most valuable breed of cow are the Cash.

Freshly posted on Discord:

People always love to claim that a celebrity’s death is “unexpected”, but they never actually release the data on which celebrities they expected to die that day.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴