Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Accordion to a recent survey, inserting musical instruments into sentences largely goes unnoticed.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Hell hath no fury like a toddler who lost the chance to push a button.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Have you guys heard of recency bias? I hadn’t, but now I’m seeing it literally everywhere. Must be a big deal.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

The most important thing I learned in life, and I can’t stress enough, it doesn’t matter where you went to college. The only thing that matters is that you’re really hot.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

I always set two alarms, one for “Good Intentions Me” and one for “The Real Me”

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Having an exorcism, but only because the demon requested it.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Not only is it not Friday, but it’s not even Thursday.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

My therapist is so lucky. I’m like a Netflix Original that pays her to watch.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Outlook just asked me if I’m “enjoying” Microsoft Outlook. As if it’s not the Torment Portal.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

I’m going to a karaoke bar tomorrow, where I’ll sing every song in the style of Yoko Ono.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

235 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,504

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,504

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,534

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Reddit:

Addicted to bad posture like why is it so comfortable to sit like a cooked shrimp.

Just shared via Telegram:

Ok, hear me out: a reality show where billionaire CEOs have to live off of their lowest-paid employees’ salaries for a month.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Twitter actually is my diary, so you’re not allowed to get mad at the things I post. You’re not even supposed to be reading this. Why were you going through my stuff?

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Just a reminder that with Die Hard, Robin Hood and Love Actually, ‘Alan Rickman ruins Christmas’ is a whole movie subgenre.

Trending via Slack:

They should invent a grocery store that’s just for me and no one else.

Spotted on Twitch:

I’m heading to the beach without a beach body.

Making waves on X:

Thunder is fake. It doesn’t even sync up properly with lightning. There’s some guy who waits till he sees lightning and then he presses the thunder button.

Shared recently on Threads:

A Monday every week is excessive.

Making waves on Twitch:

Whoever invented the “skip intro” button really understood humans.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I only use ‘sir’ disrespectfully.

I’m not scared of love, I’m scared of insufficient cash.

0
I’m not scared of love, I’m scared of insufficient cash.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs love when you have a wallet full of cash? Just remember, money talks – but love can't buy you groceries!"

, , , , , ,

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on Instagram this month:

Coke Zero sounds like a government pledge to eliminate fizzy drinks by 2030.

93 shares on Pinterest this month:

I had a marvelous time ruining everything.

42 shares on Telegram this month:

One day you’ll find someone who’s obsessed with you. It’ll probably be a demon but that’s what it is.

13 shares on WeChat this month:

I think social media is marvellous. You type your thoughts into it, and then insane people let you know if they like them or not.

41 shares on YouTube this month:

Sometimes I’m like….. what is the point of all this? And then I hang out with the people I love, and for a brief moment, I see.

76 shares on Facebook this month:

Terrible things can happen if you go camping. For starters, you could want to go camping again.

97 shares on Instagram this month:

If my TV’s so smart then why doesn’t it slap me when I turn on the news?

33 shares on Messenger this month:

According to this box of macaroni and cheese, I am an entire family.

95 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If my trainee says “oh God” one more time, he’s going to meet him.

30 shares on Reddit this month:

I could never journal, I’d start lying in there too.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop hating yourself for everything. Be specific.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

That masculine urge to completely avoid relationships until you get your life together.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Please stop adding touchscreens to cars. Most of these idiots can barely drive as it is.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I want a hot body, but I also want hot wings.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

You should be allowed to leave work early if you miss your wife enough.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I tried selling my soul to the devil, and he said no.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

You know you’re old when you you barely do anything all day, but still need a nap to continue doing barely anything.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

We need a true crime show called Downtown Stabby.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Like shark attacks on humans, it’s actually extremely rare. The majority of antique, porcelain headed dolls aren’t interested in murdering people.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I said “cool tattoo” to be nice not because I wanted to hear the 45 minute origin story.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

235 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,504

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,504

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,674

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

There’s a Marie Antoinette feeling in the air.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

No dating apps this year. Just going to walk around and smile at people and send an occasional unhinged DM.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Wonder if I should do something with my life, or kind of just continue to hang out.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

According to my calculations, we’re all screwed.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

People who own banana costumes will wear that shit to anything.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

I’m at that age where someone can call me the wrong name and I’m just like “whatever, I’ll be Dan for a minute”.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

If someone wants to spend time with you, they’ll let you know. Get rid of those people.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

I eat my first meal of the day in the afternoon, bro. Don’t ask me for advice.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

One day you burned a CD for the last time and didn’t even realize it.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

I love admitting when I’m wrong, because it gives me a break from always being right, like finally.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

My daily routine. Morning: Feeling tired, cranky and lazy. Afternoon: I could go for a nap. Night: I can’t sleep.

Shared recently on Slack:

The fewer friends at your birthday party means more cake for you. Follow me for more life hacks.

Shared recently on Twitch:

We need a slur for people who use ChatGPT.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I’m not saying I need glasses. But today I watched a bunny in a meadow until it flew away.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Naming my first daughter Piggleigh Wiggleigh.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I have browser tabs open that are older than you.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Egg nog was invented in Germany back in 1816 when Baron von Heldebrandt reportedly said “Hey guys, let’s get this custard drunk!”

Shared recently on YouTube:

It’s a paradox that your nose is running and your feet smell.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Stick with me and you’ll go places. None of them good, but still.

Making waves on Snapchat:

What no one ever considers is that the kids are pretending to believe in Santa for the sake of the parents.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴