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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Here’s your daily reminder to not forget about Dre.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Had a king sized bed all to myself last night. Must be what Rose felt like on that door.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Going from summer clothes to winter clothes: “Okay!” Going from winter clothes to summer clothes: “I AM NOT READY!”

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Sorry for bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to bash my head into the walls anymore.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

I’m terrified of escalators, so I’m taking steps to avoid them.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Laying in a hammock is essentially saying, “I hope there are no emergencies.”

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

A moth is just a butterfly with glasses and its hair up.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

Instead of hairstyles and make-up, there should be YouTube tutorials on polite behavior.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

The feminine urge to open a coffee shop that’s also a library, a bakery, and a flower shop.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

It’s curious how kids are always really hungry right before dinner and right after dinner, but never during actual dinner.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,650

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I buy candles like I’m preparing for a Victorian blackout.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Social media has dragged humans back into Plato’s cave, and chained them there.

Just landed via WeChat:

Netflix had enough cash to buy Warner Bros., but cried poor when we shared passwords with our mom.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Not being able to teleport is a huge inconvenience for me.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Requesting the Pink Panther theme song at karaoke and just standing on the stage motionless the entire time.

Going viral on Discord:

Okay, fall, I see you showing a lil’ leg.

Breaking via Discord:

Accidentally used my real personality at work today… heading to HR now.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

All dogs are therapy dogs. The majority are just freelancing.

Shared recently on X:

The difference between us is that people can peck you and I’m impeccable.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Always remember, if you ever need me, I’m just several phone calls and unread texts away.

Maybe if I spend another day alone in my room then something life-changing will suddenly happen to me!?

1 week ago

Playful text about loneliness and hope for change, with a humorous, relatable vibe.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah yes, the classic 'waiting for life-changing epiphanies in the comfort of my room' strategy 🤔🪞 Just your friendly reminder that life-changing moments don't always come knocking on your door… sometimes you gotta go out there and seize the day! 🌟💃 #VentureOut"

alone, another, change, day, expectation, humor, i, life changing, maybe, me, procrastination, room, something, spend, wait

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on Twitch this month:

They portray Pilates like it’s this cute girly thing and it’s actually training for combat.

12 shares on Slack this month:

This meeting could have been an oil painting.

83 shares on Snapchat this month:

Listen to your body? The body that craves a lethal amount of Kinder Bueno?

41 shares on Messenger this month:

Watching true crime documentaries so I can learn from their mistakes.

96 shares on Slack this month:

Signed an Executive Order that you have to give me a little forehead kiss.

33 shares on X this month:

I hate it when I’m gossiping at work and a customer wants to be served. How rude is that?

44 shares on Slack this month:

What are some fun beginner crimes for someone getting into lawlessness?

64 shares on LinkedIn this month:

This Thanksgiving, don’t ask me questions about my life, just pass the mashed potatoes.

38 shares on WeChat this month:

Everyone’s gangsta until grandma grabs that wooden spoon.

40 shares on Messenger this month:

Getting mad when an app updates and changes their format is the new “rearranged grocery store” for me.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Holding this fart in feels like I’m pregnant with a dinosaur.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I recently saw a documentary about dinosaurs. They simply ate everyone they didn’t like. I like that concept.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m sorry for the things I said when there were too many noises at the same time.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at the age where any time my mom asks if I remember so-and-so from high school, the news is never good.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Let’s all stand up against iron deficiency (but not too fast).

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Never quit, unless it’s too hard.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t need therapy, I need a bagel with cream cheese.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Money is always a motive for murder. Stay broke.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If you want people to have kind words when you pass, you should say kind words when you’re alive.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Shout-out to the lifeguard who recommended moving the potato to the front of my Speedo.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,454

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

All our dogs think we quit our jobs to spend more time with them. All our cats think we got fired for being lazy.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Arab perfumes have zero chill… the entire street knows you’ve arrived.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

In English we say: “You changed.” But in poetry we say: “You became a stranger wearing the face I used to love, and I am haunted by the ghost of who you were.”

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Can someone come over and take this phone away from me?

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

I think the Monday after Sunday should always be a day off.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Libraries were a good start, but we really need to keep working on the number of places where people shouldn’t be allowed to talk.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

In Russia, the cold complains about you.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Therapists probably have to struggle so hard not to ask to see pictures of the people their clients are obsessing over.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

I can’t really explain it but cereal at night tastes better than cereal in the morning.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Stop trying to be liked by everybody. You don’t even like everybody.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

Ever since I was a little girl I knew I wanted to leave work early.

Going viral on WeChat:

Told my homie I was “going through it” and he just said “go around it”.

Just shared via Messenger:

Me before grocery shopping: only healthy foods, no impulse buys, I can do this. Me during grocery shopping: they make chocolate filled marshmallows?

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Perks of dating me: you will be the hot one.

Trending via YouTube:

Yoda, seeing himself in 4K: HDMI

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Dark mode changed me. White screens now feel like staring into the sun.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Petition to bring back payphones in public places. I don’t want to give my kid a phone, I want to give him a quarter.

Making waves on Facebook:

Haunted house idea: a poorly lit Walmart littered with people you haven’t seen since high school.

Breaking via X:

You never forget your first kiss. Or your first meeting with HR.

Seen just now on X:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, please make it study.

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