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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Way too many low IQ conspiracy theories floating around. Give me high IQ conspiracy theories.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Not today, Satan, but next week works.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

I wanted to wear some hot lingerie, but didn’t have any, so I put on this red dental floss.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

It’s weird that Usher doesn’t have any songs about showing people to their seats.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

You can reach me by butterfly.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Stop roasting yourself, you’re not a marshmallow.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

I want to live in a world where TV sitcoms have catchy theme songs again.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

When I’m president, everyone who listens to techno, house or rap will be allowed to drive a little faster than others.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

At the age where a big break could mean either my career or a hip.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,735

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And they were correct. Honestly, great call from the haters.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I’m developing a new fragrance for introverts. It’s called: “Leave me the fuh cologne”.

Trending via Instagram:

Nobody is more cold-blooded than a toddler, just saying what they see and feel.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Spider-Man, but set in rural England so he just has to walk everywhere.

Spotted on WeChat:

I can’t explain how it works, but one day, you just wake up and like sauerkraut.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I realized Americans were dramatics the day I found out 200 lb is just 90 kg.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Watching as gravity slowly unfriends you.

Just shared via Messenger:

Waiting patiently for something good to happen, like that goat in Jurassic Park.

Seen just now on X:

Too many toilets have automatically flushed underneath me for me not to have reservations about self-driving cars.

Shared recently on Discord:

It is only when a mosquito lands on your testicles that you realize there is always a way to solve problems without using violence.

They say we learn from our mistakes, that’s why I’m making as many as possible. Soon I’ll be a genius.

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They say we learn from our mistakes, that’s why I’m making as many as possible. Soon I’ll be a genius.
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Commentary:
🤔💡 "They say we learn from our mistakes, that's why I'm making as many as possible. Soon I'll be a genius." 🧠 Keep making mistakes, and one day you might just stumble into brilliance! Just call it 'accidental genius' 😉🌟 #LearningTheGeniusWay

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on Slack this month:

Adults should not be twins. Being twins is for children.

42 shares on Discord this month:

I miss when bills had nothing to do with me.

26 shares on WeChat this month:

At least I can say I tried. I didn’t try, but I can say I did.

90 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the terms and conditions I do not read.

62 shares on Facebook this month:

Anyone still shut off lights when leaving a room because their parents used to say, “Don’t waste electricity!”

38 shares on Threads this month:

Can’t. Too busy saving daylight.

58 shares on Discord this month:

Cicadas are all like, “Y’all mind if I scream?”

45 shares on YouTube this month:

I would reset the clock on your microwave for you.

12 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Therapy isn’t enough, she needs to know people congratulated me when we broke up.

30 shares on Discord this month:

There should be a tented fingers emoji. For when you’re feeling ruminative.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

And so ends another week without me getting rich unexpectedly.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Someone asked me how much I normally spend on a bottle of wine. Answering “usually an hour” wasn’t the right answer. I know this now.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Off to my crying appointment (therapy).

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Hold on, let me overthink this.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Please congratulate me on my cool new position! It is the fetal position; I will be in it for a while.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate starting new relationships. I gotta act like I ain’t crazy for two months.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

This generation of men makes celibacy so easy for women.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I am a man, a man with a cold, so I guess this is goodbye.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Extrovert self made too many plans and now introvert self is pissed.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish it were social acceptable to say “I don’t care” and walk away mid conversation when you’re bored.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

4,040

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

What if babies had two umbilical cords and if you cut the wrong one, it exploded?

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

My therapist said cutting people off isn’t healthy. She’s next.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Lie about the gap in your resume. Tell them you had to help some Hobbits take a ring to Mordor or something.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Really looking forward to the day my teenager starts speaking English again.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

The ability to adjust your vocabulary based on who you’re speaking to is a valuable life skill that many people lack.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Drinking a couple of beers and then getting onto Red Dead Redemption, and just petting my horse and feeding it apples.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Nothing really prepares you for when your favorite sweatpants begin to fall apart.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

My phone storage is full so I guess it’s time to delete the 27 second video I took of a spiderweb four years ago.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Anyone else smile at old people just to show that you’re one of the good ones.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying things like, “That’s a pretty building.”

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Instead of writing LOL, I’m going to start writing SALTS (smiled a little, then stopped). It’s more accurate.

Going viral on Facebook:

I hate being in that mood where nothing’s really wrong but nothing feels right either.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Flour company: What if we sell it in a paper bag that’s not fully sealed at the bottom?

Going viral on Slack:

I don’t need to grow a thick skin. The world needs to grow fewer thorns.

Just landed via Pinterest:

“God has a plan for you.” OK, is God open to a little feedback?

Going viral on Snapchat:

I wish I loved exercising as much as I love not exercising.

Just landed via X:

I hate when my cat runs into my bedroom and hisses at an empty chair, then runs back out again; and I then have to fall asleep holding a crucifix.

Seen just now on Discord:

In honor of the winter solstice, I also will be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

Just shared via Twitch:

I’m addicted to placebos.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Stop avoiding your banking app. Go look at what you’ve done.

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