50+ Funny Lifestyle Jokes to Brighten Your Everyday Routine

New funny lifestyle jokes

• Sometimes life is “Eat, pray, love,” and sometimes it’s “Scroll, snack, overthink.”

• Did you know? By replacing your coffee with green tea, you can lose up to 92% of what little joy you still have left in your life.

• I think probably the reason some people look better at 30 than at 20 is because they’re wealthier.

• Some days you have breakfast for dinner and live life on your own terms.

• I have been so toxic and horny lately, I should probably start, like, reading a book or something.

• Welcome to your 40s. You’re home from the party before you used to go out for the party in your 20s.

• I love how “sleeping in” used to mean noon, and now it means 8:30 a.m.

• There is literally no rule that says you have to get married and start a family. Normalize splitting a mansion with your five best friends and ten dogs.

• Man, it sucks having no kids. All I do is whatever I want, all the time.

• Eating healthy requires a second job.

Top funny lifestyle jokes

• I’ve reached the age where I would rather go to a hardware store than a club.

• It’s unbelievable how much work goes into having a mid-physique and a relatively clean house.

• I feel like I’ve skipped the whole ‘go out and have fun’ stage and went straight to being an 80-year-old woman.

• Fun fact: Did you know that removing junk food from your diet can help you lose up to 90% of your will to live?

• By 30, you should have settled down with an addiction that works for your lifestyle, no second guessing. You go to work, come home, and [addiction].

• I want whatever the people who run at 6 a.m. have.

• Please go out, have fun, have friends, make connections. That mysterious lifestyle won’t save you.

• They should invent a small lifestyle change that has an instantaneous, huge payoff.

• The older I get, the more I don’t want to do things.

• Don’t ask me why, but the older you get, the more you love coffee.

Popular funny lifestyle jokes

• Rich people go to parties. It’s what they do, and somehow we must all watch videos of it.

• Intermittent fasting is how I drive, not how I eat.

• I was not made for a 9 to 5; I was made to eat pasta and lay in the sun like a lizard.

• Maybe dogs are smarter than us because they found a way to get fed and housed without having to go to college and get a job.

• Shoutout to everyone who works hard to support their dog’s extravagant lifestyle.

• Cool times create cool guys.

• I want to be the kind of person who eats half a grapefruit for breakfast and runs every morning, but I also want to be happy.

• Ever since I was young, I knew I wanted to be online nonstop.

• Me, having zero balance in my account, viewing houses worth 10 million, and being like, “No, I don’t like the kitchen.”

• Growing up, I didn’t think the expensive addiction that would ruin me would be Heinz ketchup, but here we are.

More funny lifestyle jokes

• What career is most compatible with the unemployed lifestyle?

• If you’re not dropping it like it’s hot, then what the hell are you doing?

• Almost all of my bad decisions are food-related.

• I’m just a Whole Foods girl on a Walmart budget.

• I need like twelve incomes for this lifestyle I have in my head.

• The toughest part of being a vegan is keeping it to yourself.

• I’ve used dark mode so much that I’m physically repulsed by white screens now.

• The day I start waking up early it’s over for you all.

• I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life or are living it to the fullest.

• I installed a bike rack on my car so my neighbors think I do something else besides drink.

Witty lifestyle jokes

• The cost of living has gotten so high, I’m thinking about having a nap for dinner.

• What I learned from Covid is that it’s basically possible to do all your work from home while drunk.

• My best friend is married and buying a house. I ate popcorn for dinner.

• Rappers be making you feel guilty for no reason at all: “You was in the house eating dinner while I was in the streets hungry”. Like my fault, bro.

• My extravagant lifestyle of paying for housing and buying groceries is really getting in the way of my ability to save money.

• I’ve started eating healthier and exercising if you’re wondering why I’m in such a crappy mood all of a sudden.

• I’m stuck between “I need to save money” and “You only live once.”

• Less is more, unless it’s kindness, sleep, or toilet paper.

• Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

• Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.