9am: anything is possible. 2pm: maybe tomorrow.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Don’t fall for me — I’ll treat you right, and you’ll get bored and cheat.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

I logged on to Amazon and they said that they have run out of things that I don’t need.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they’re not it.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

I’ve heard so much about the “Eye of the Tiger,” but how come no one ever talks about the other four letters?

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Did I eat too much candy today? My stomach says yes, but my heart says no.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

I kind of enjoy living in a world where I can end a conversation by simply not texting back.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Let’s hope those bridges you burn keep you warm at night.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to stay up all night.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Presumably, if you had a time machine, you could just kill young adult Hitler. The baby part seems gratuitous.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

“Apple Music has better sound quality!” Okay, but my entire life is on Spotify, my playlists are my children.