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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

I’ll be home for Christmas, because that’s where I live.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

What substance do I have to abuse to stop yearning?

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize how quiet your bathroom exhaust fan was.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Twitter is cigarette for the eyes.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

My optimism doesn’t come out of thin air. A flask is involved.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

There are a few certainties in this life: death, taxes and when a Canadian tells you it’s cold out, it’s cold out.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

If you ever think you can solve a parenting problem by doing the opposite of what didn’t work last time, the universe will just be like “Lol, nice try, dummy!”

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

The good news is cannon deaths have gone down dramatically in the last hundred years.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

You look like you take lavender bubble baths with rose petals, surrounded by candles, bro.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

I hope the ghost of Michael Jackson Hee-Hee’s in your ear while you tryna sleep.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,672

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Arkansas is just Kansas for pirates.

Shared recently on Discord:

Not many things sadder than an untickled fancy.

Making waves on Reddit:

Sometimes I can’t believe people have had the honor of experiencing my love and chose to hurt me instead.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Maybe Monday is more scared of us than we are of it… we don’t know.

Going viral on Facebook:

All the things I like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening.

Just shared via Facebook:

Everyone is awful in their own special way.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I refuse to listen to anyone give commentary on the state of society unless it’s in a TikTok video filmed inside their car.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

People who read and research will always sound crazy to people who don’t.

Making waves on Facebook:

I’m just a crazy person looking for a crazy person who finds me completely normal.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Not to brag, but I was unhinged way before it was cool.

A frittata is just an omelette for people too lazy to flip things.

3 weeks ago

Witty quote about laziness and breakfast humor in a playful style.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the frittata, the rebellious cousin of the omelette, breaking free from traditional kitchen rules and declaring, 'I won't be flipped!' It's the perfect solution for those lazy chefs who prefer their eggs unstressed and unflipped."

breakfast, cooking, food, frittata, humor, just, lazy, omelette, people, simplicity, things

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on X this month:

I’m at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to stop for anything on the way home from work.

90 shares on YouTube this month:

The romantic says that there is the right partner for everyone. The realist says: only one person has to choose the wrong one and then it won’t work out for everyone!

84 shares on Threads this month:

Sick of people thinking the Midwest is just a bunch of small towns and cornfields when they forgot it’s also a lot of road construction, inconsistent weather, and deer that jump in front of your car.

95 shares on Instagram this month:

Not using emoji while texting is my way to show that I’m serious.

87 shares on Instagram this month:

Me watching any modern ad: How is this ad an ad for the thing it’s an ad for?

13 shares on Reddit this month:

Why do Marvel movies need 3 hours to accomplish what The Powerpuff Girls did in 11 minutes?

81 shares on Pinterest this month:

The single star on Texas’ flag is actually a review.

92 shares on Reddit this month:

I would just once like to feel as powerful as a toddler throwing their sippy cup whilst sitting atop their high chair.

16 shares on TikTok this month:

I will sit in the rain about this.

31 shares on X this month:

When you say “You’re going to hate me for this,” you’re making a very large assumption that I don’t hate you already.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

November should have one more day. Just because to me November 31st sounds real. And also I don’t want to pay rent tomorrow.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Roadtripping with my family has taught me that my marriage can withstand anything except roadtripping with my family.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

In honor of the last eclipse, I will also get in the way of someone brighter than me.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The key to looking amazing is looking like shit most of the time, so it’s more of a surprise.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

A real smartphone would know when to shut up.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to brag but there are so many movies out there that have watched me sleep.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you ever look into your cats eyes and realize that a person is inside there?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

A collective orgasm would fix the world.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I love my new crockpot. Now we can wait longer to eat my horrible cooking.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite condiment is Worcestershire sauce. Why? It’s hard to say.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,288

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

If you’ve seen one shopping centre, you’ve seen a mall.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Netflix needs to stop asking if I’m still watching and start asking if I moved the laundry to the dryer yet.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Guys only want one thing and it’s my grandmother’s meatball recipe.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

I’ve broken all my New Year’s Resolutions so now I’m moving on to laws of nature.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Doing nothing is very hard to do. You never know when you’re finished.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

If you’re gonna spend so much time in my head, would it kill you to tidy up a bit?

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

I don’t simply want to kill a mosquito; I want to bite them back over and over to make them itch.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

I would love to go back to the days when the biggest stress was finding the best hiding place when playing hide and seek.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Are you spaghetti because I want you to meat my balls?

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Sex is fine, but have you ever completed every single thing on your to-do list?

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

Gaslighting myself into thinking I’m in a good mood.

Spotted on Telegram:

Can you imagine being a 7th grade girl and being able to see your crush’s bedroom during Zoom math class.

Trending via Instagram:

Oxygen was discovered in 1773. How did our ancestors breathe before then?

Just shared via Slack:

This tape doesn’t even taste like scotch.

Broadcasted on X:

Extroverts love our energy. That’s why they suck it out of us.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Stop using ChatGPT. I can feed you misinformation too and I’m also beautiful and funny sometimes.

Trending via YouTube:

After cooking show a dishwashing show with same host but kind of drunk.

Trending via WeChat:

My real introduction to classical music came from watching Tom & Jerry cartoons as a kid. Also how I got into sadism.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I’ve finally found out what chronology is. And it’s about time.

Just landed via X:

9am: anything is possible. 2pm: maybe tomorrow.

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