Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • That uncontrollable urge to hurt myself and others when a film’s subtitles are slightly out of sync.
  • I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
  • My love life feels like when you finally spot an open space in a full parking lot — and then boom, it’s a motorcycle.
  • If life could stop teaching me lessons, that would be great.
  • Broke my work phone. I can’t talk on it anymore. I should have done this a long time ago.
  • Got fired on my first day working at the drugstore for calling my new coworkers ‘my pharmily’.