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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Not to brag but I am evidence of things unseen.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

The second cup of coffee does for me what a can of spinach does for Popeye.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Taking a dog named shark to the beach is a bad idea.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

There needs to be a separate grocery store for people who actually know what they’re doing.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

Last night my guardian angel came to me, covered me up, gave me a kiss on the forehead and whispered in my ear: “You’re a pain in the ass!”

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Please pray for my husband, he’s struggling to find me.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Dating after 40 is like trying to find the least damaged item at the thrift store that doesn’t smell.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Dua Lipa is a fantastic singer AND Mario’s advice to Luigi when he wants to get on a slightly higher platform.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

If I had a boyfriend, I’d watch him dig a hole at the beach and be like, “Wowww, baby, good job. That’s a beautiful hole.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

I just want someone who can see through all my bullshit and hate me for who I really am.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,596

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

All of my passwords are protected by short-term memory loss.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Everything will kill you so pick something fun.

Going viral on Twitch:

When I take a shower I’m: 5% cleaning myself, 10% singing, 85% making life changing decisions.

Just landed via WeChat:

Does your life really flash before your eyes or is it just your brain closing all open tabs one last time.

Making waves on X:

Nobody supports you like that one internet friend you’ve never met.

Spotted on WeChat:

Doesn’t matter if the chicken or the egg came first. Still a weird thing to just appear.

Freshly posted on Discord:

It’s so hot the chipmunks are using my bird bath as a hot tub and requesting mimosas and the brunch menu.

Seen just now on Threads:

There are no laws against pineapples on pizza.

Going viral on Facebook:

Nothing is impossible, except for my daughter returning home with the hat and gloves she wore to school this morning.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Call me constipated the way I don’t give a shit.

Forrest Gump is a haunting film about how long you have to wait for a bus in America.

1 week ago

Witty quote about waiting for the bus, with a humorous twist on Forrest Gump.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, yes, the timeless struggle of waiting for a bus in America – a journey so profound, it could rival Forrest Gump's epic life story. Who knew that the true meaning of patience and perseverance could be found at a bus stop? Maybe we should all take a cue from Forrest and just keep waiting, and waiting, and waiting…"

America, bus, critique, film, film critique, Forrest Gump, gump, haunting, haunting film, humor, irony, observation, wait

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on Instagram this month:

I was brought up in the wild by hyenas. Times were hard, food was scarce but we had some great laughs.

18 shares on Threads this month:

No more bare minimum, I want the moon and the stars. Maybe even a planet at this point.

77 shares on Twitch this month:

“Comparison is the thief of joy!” Well, not if you’re better than everyone else.

20 shares on Threads this month:

Nowadays, people no longer look for a needle in a haystack, but for errors in a spreadsheet.

91 shares on Facebook this month:

I cannot imagine being in high school right now. Imagine the world is eating itself alive and you’re in school.

26 shares on Threads this month:

Nothing prepared me for how much of my adult life would be spent hiding from people I know at the grocery store.

97 shares on Messenger this month:

“I’m a very sleepy person, just at all the wrong times.”

69 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Yes, money alone does not make you happy. It has to be yours too.

80 shares on Snapchat this month:

Petition to make weekends longer. Two days isn’t enough.

54 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m not getting fatter. I’m increasing my content.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Big fan of calling artists their first name and then the band name as their last name.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey beauty brands who make face creams: 30ml is only enough for an ant’s face.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Lies I tell myself: Just one more cookie. Just one more movie. Just one more minute.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve done the math and I regret to inform you I’m your soulmate.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

My birthday wish is for everyone to ignore my birthday.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I tried to embrace my flaws. They filed a restraining order.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I have a very active anti-social life.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve watched porn with better writing than Stranger Things.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

You guys ever play a game for hours straight? You start hallucinating the sounds.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Well, at least my cat is supportive of me doing less and laying around more.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,287

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Men will ask you zero questions about yourself, and then say they never met anybody like you.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

I’m pretending to be a hot girl on Tinder so I can match with my roommate and tell him I’m coming over, so he’ll clean the apartment.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

The only thing stopping cheesecake from being a breakfast food is you.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

It’s amazing how cats can ignore you with both ears.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Going to IKEA if anyone needs some meatballs.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

One day you’re young and carefree, and the next you have a favorite stove burner.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

At least I’m part of the generation that at 30 still looks like it’s in its early 20s.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

“Age is just a number!” Yeah, the older I get, the number I feel.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

Who called them sea lions and not soggy doggies?

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Love when plans get canceled. It’s like getting a snow day as an adult.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

Am I just getting old or are people getting more annoying?

Going viral on Discord:

There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after a vacation.

Just shared via Threads:

All kids are born with a sixth sense that lets them know the absolute worst time to ask for something.

Spotted on Instagram:

One of the most underrated benefits of having a cat is that you get another creature to look around in confusion with you when you hear a random loud-ass noise in the middle of the night.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Shouldn’t it have been called the ‘not answering machine’?

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

You ever notice how fans of the worst music always focus on the meanings of the songs instead of the actual music?

Freshly posted on Threads:

I hate it when someone gives me a valid solution to my problem and I have to find something new to complain about.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Sorry for acting weird, I am weird, and it will happen again.

Trending via Snapchat:

Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Adulthood is realising no one cares about you, and the show must go on.

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