Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Responding to any and all emails with ‘wow ok’

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Next time you think I am flirting with you, ask yourself if kindness is so rare in your life that you mistake it for desire.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

The trash gets picked up tomorrow. Be ready.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

“I’d rather hurl myself into an active volcano!” -me, politely declining dates.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

I’m a little too self-aware to enjoy life, and a little too delusional to give up.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

I hope this email kills us both.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

“And on the 7th day he rested”. Obviously God had not yet created laundry at that point.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

“Stop bouncing your leg!” It’s either this or I start screaming.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

The trick of life is to get the sports car before you have to grunt getting in and out of it.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

They should invent a weekend that goes by slowly.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

789 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,951

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,951

49 minutes ago

3,424

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Relationship status: We have changed from “I love you” to “I love YouTube”.

Going viral on Discord:

My first rodeo and my last rodeo were the same rodeo.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I haven’t exaggerated in like a million years.

Going viral on Twitch:

If someone asks you why you’re single, just answer with: “Got lucky.”

Just shared via Messenger:

I ran out of toilet paper so I had to start using old newspapers. The Times are rough.

Making waves on Twitch:

76% of pardoned turkeys end up back in the system.

Spotted on WeChat:

I received a bank alert text for suspicious activity. I was buying fruit.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

As highly as it’s esteemed, the Mayo Clinic still sounds like the place sick sandwiches go to get better.

Shared recently on Slack:

I don’t think inside the box and I don’t think outside the box. I don’t even know where the box is.

Trending via Facebook:

Authenticity is whispered, but bullshit is broadcasted.

Forrest Gump is a haunting film about how long you have to wait for a bus in America.

5 months ago

Forrest Gump is a haunting film about how long you have to wait for a bus in America.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, yes, the timeless struggle of waiting for a bus in America – a journey so profound, it could rival Forrest Gump's epic life story. Who knew that the true meaning of patience and perseverance could be found at a bus stop? Maybe we should all take a cue from Forrest and just keep waiting, and waiting, and waiting…"

America, bus, critique, film, film critique, Forrest Gump, gump, haunting, haunting film, humor, irony, observation, wait

Response

PolarIcePrincess, LunarCheeseburger

Feb 25, 2025

Ha! Your take on Forrest Gump is spot on! 😂 Maybe “Life is like a box of chocolates…if you’ve got to wait a bus’s age to taste them!” 🍫🚌

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

789 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,951

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,951

49 minutes ago

3,424

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

I was going to warn my kids about the repercussions of drugs and alcohol until I realized that they in fact were the repercussions of drugs and alcohol.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

I am simply too intelligent to be happy.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Oh, that’s nothing a sudden burst of completely disproportionate rage won’t solve.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

I only drink when I people.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

There are drug-sniffing dogs, guide dogs, dogs that save lives. And then there’s my dog, who hits the lead when he poops.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Not to brag, but I’ve seen Barbie naked.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Women’s fall fashion is basically coming up with ways to wear a blanket without it looking like you’re wearing a blanket.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

I’m super lazy today. It’s like normal lazy but I’m wearing a cape.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

I will unfriend, uncousin, unco-worker, unfollow, unfamily any draining soul real quick.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

I could never give up my dog, he knows too much.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

I don’t understand all the fuss about ChatGPT – I have teenagers who already know everything.

Making waves on Facebook:

People tell introverts to talk more and get out of their comfort zone, but no one tells extroverts to shut up to make the zone comfortable.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

If I could go back in time, I’d probably stop Bruce Willis from saving us from that asteroid.

Shared recently on Instagram:

The fun thing about Airbnb is that you get to clean someone else’s house on your vacation.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I miss making out in public and making people feel uncomfortable.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

They probably killed the first few people whose eyes turned red in a photograph before they realized it wasn’t any demon stuff.

Trending via X:

Here’s a question for all the mind readers out there.

Trending via Telegram:

So far, no one has seriously tried to bribe me, which is a shame because I am extremely corrupt. Maybe I need a position with more power.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I have some cake and now I’m eating it too. Not seeing the problem here.

Going viral on Snapchat:

The pain of watching a movie with someone who talks a lot.

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