Wordgag ツ

Jan 24, 2025
Share →: Fellas, be sure to never ask a lady any questions on a date. This makes them feel interrogated. Strong declarative statements only.

Commentary:
Oh, of course! Because nothing says romance like a good ol' interrogation! 🕵️‍♂️💬 Remember, ladies love confidence, so just boldly proclaim your undying love for pickles or your expertise in underwater basket weaving. Who needs questions when you've got statements as smooth as a jazz saxophonist on a moonlit night? Keep those words coming, fellas! 🎤🌙 #DatingAdvice #NoQuestionsAsked
Jan 24, 2025
Share →: My girlfriend wants us to try couples counseling and I said we should use my therapist because he already knows what’s wrong with her.

Commentary:
Sounds like someone already has a head start on their partner's issues! 🙈 Why not kill two birds with one stone, right? 🤣 But hey, at least they're trying to work things out! 💑 #TherapyGoals
Jan 24, 2025
Share →: You know you’ve mastered marriage when you shout to your husband, “Take the thing off the thing,” and he immediately knows what to do.

Commentary:
When communication skills are so on point, you don't even need words as specific as "thing" and "thing"! 🤣 A true testament to marital telepathy! 🧠💬 #MarriageGoals #TelepathicLove
Jan 24, 2025
Share →: If your kids aren’t drinking enough water, tell them it’s bedtime.

Commentary:
"Who needs a bedtime story when you have the magical cure-all for dehydration? 🚰💤 Just a parent's clever way of ensuring hydration levels stay afloat! Cheers to bedtime, the universal solution for everything! 🌙😂"
Jan 24, 2025
Share →: Warning: People who need to leave their homes today are advised that it is extremely Monday outside this morning.

Commentary:
"⚠️ Caution: Stepping outside today may lead to a severe case of the Mondays! 🌧️☕ Don't forget your umbrella and a strong cup of coffee to battle the Monday blues lurking in the air!"
Jan 24, 2025
Share →: Please don’t buy my book on reverse psychology.

Commentary:
Oh, don't even think about getting my book on reverse psychology! 📚🙅‍♂️ I mean, seriously, who would want to read a book that they're explicitly being told not to buy? The irony levels are off the charts with this one! Just kidding, but seriously, don't buy it! 😉
Jan 24, 2025
Share →: I’ve shouted so much sporting advice from my sofa already this summer. It’s very tiring but hopefully it’s helping.

Commentary:
"Who needs a coach when you have the sofa? Masterfully guiding the athletes to victory, one bag of chips at a time! 🥔🛋️ #SofaSpectatorChampion"
Jan 24, 2025
Share →: Don’t wait until you’re on your death bed to let them know how you feel. You may be too weak to raise your middle finger.

Commentary:
"Don't procrastinate expressing yourself! 🕰️ Let your loved ones know how you feel before it's too late, or your final gesture might lack the impact you were going for! 🖕😂 #CommunicateNowOrForeverHoldYourPeace"
Jan 24, 2025
Share →: If a woman says “Do what you want!”, then for God’s sake don’t do what you want!

Commentary:
Ah, the infamous "Do what you want!" trap – a classic test of a person's intuition and survival instincts in a relationship 🤣🤷‍♂️ Remember, folks, sometimes silence speaks louder than words! #HappyWifeHappyLife
Jan 24, 2025
Share →: A two-step guide to warning someone not to hit their head: 1. Wait until they’ve hit their head. 2. Say “Ooh, mind your head!”

Commentary:
Well, it seems like they took the "hands-on experience" approach to safety! 🤕 Always good to be proactive 😂👷‍♂️ #SafetyFirst