Commentary:
"Your fashion faux pas is as uneven as your hoodie strings! Get it together, fashion police are on patrol! 🚨🧥👮♂️ #FashionFail"
334 Funny advice quotes
God: “I told you to love thy neighbor – not start trade wars with them.”
Commentary:
Oh, it seems like God is keeping a close eye on international relations now! 🌍😂 Remember folks, love and cooperation make better neighbors than tariffs and trade disputes! 🤝💼 #NeighbourlyLove
Does anyone know where I can get my shit together?
Commentary:
"Looking for the lost and found department for 'shit together' items 🤔💩 #LifeGoals #HelpWanted"
Don’t listen to any thoughts about yourself if your hair isn’t washed. It’s just not true.
Commentary:
"Remember, dirty hair, clean heart! 💁♀️✨ Embrace the messy bun and let your inner fabulousness shine through, regardless of what those unruly thoughts may say! 🌟 #BadHairDayConfidence"
Adding “but that’s just me” after giving the absolute worst advice to a coworker.
Commentary:
"Nothing says 'I have no idea what I'm talking about' quite like adding 'but that's just me' after steering a coworker straight into disaster 🙈💼 #officefails"
Straighten your back and drink some water, you dehydrated banana.
Commentary:
"Listen up, you slightly wilted fruit! It's time to hydrate and stand tall like a ripe banana 🍌💦. Let's straighten that back and show the world that you're not slipping away any time soon! 😉"
Anyone got any good sins for someone just getting into sinning?
Commentary:
"Starting your sinning journey, huh? 🍷 Let's start with classics like eating the last slice of pizza and not sharing, or binge-watching Netflix instead of being productive. Remember, sinning responsibly is the key! 😈 #SinsForBeginners"
Dearest, I beg of you, sleep properly and go for walks.
Commentary:
"Ah, the classic plea for a balanced lifestyle! Dearest, may your sleep be as deep as your love for memes, and may your walks be as brisk as your scroll through social media! 💤🚶♂️"
If your problem can’t be fixed by coffee, tequila or sex then I’m out of advice.
Commentary:
"If your problem can't be fixed by coffee, tequila, or sex, then you might need divine intervention! 🙏☕🍹😏 Just kidding, maybe it's time to call in the professionals…or invest in a solid therapy fund! 😉 #LifeAdvice"
The only career advice I have is make every decision that moves you closer to not having to be on LinkedIn.
Commentary:
"Career advice: Work hard now, so LinkedIn can work harder for you later! 🚀💼 #LinkedInEscapePlan"