Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

I used to be cool and now I say things like “It’s so loud in here, I can’t hear myself think”.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

I never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Why put off until tomorrow what you can have an intern do today?

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Your Starbucks order leads me to believe that you’re very difficult to deal with.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

I exaggerated on my job application and said I wanted to work for a living.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Nobody is meaner to me than me. So take your shot.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Twitter is for people who tried suffering in silence and realized it wasn’t for them.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

It’s important to remember that even parents make mistakes. In fact, it’s how many of us became parents.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Dear everyone. Upset, bored, angry or hungry. I’m here for you. Sincerely, fridge.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Today’s toddlers can switch on laptops and use apps. When I was little, I ate sand.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,440

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I would be more patient if it didn’t take so long.

Breaking via X:

I don’t get enough credit for acting far less crazy than I actually am.

Just shared via Twitch:

I pretend I don’t care about stuff, but that’s only because I have no idea what’s going on around me at any given time.

Trending via WhatsApp:

All kids are born with a sixth sense that lets them know the absolute worst time to ask for something.

Going viral on YouTube:

Welcome to your 50s, where coffee is the new happy hour and mornings are the new hangover.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Don’t let the fact that I’m deeply unserious distract you from the fact that you’re in the presence of a genius.

Live now on X:

Being an adult is crazy. Because what the hell is going on?

Going viral on Discord:

If I’m reading my Twitter feed correctly, Jennifer Aniston killed JFK.

Trending via Reddit:

OK, just so everybody’s clear, I’m going to put my glasses on.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I have a lot in common with AI. We occasionally provide incorrect information with a confident tone.

Funny aloud quotes

New funny aloud quotes 👇

Sitting on the middle seat of this flight and both my seatmates are reading my book over my shoulder. Should I just start reading it aloud?

3 weeks ago

aloud, awkward, awkward situation, book, flight, humor, i, just, middle, middle seat, over, reading, seat, seatmate, should, sitting, situation, start

All funny aloud quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on Snapchat this month:

Never skip the footnotes – it’s here you find out who made the author angry enough to write the article.

98 shares on Telegram this month:

Are you ever so happy to be in bed, you wish you could be even more in bed than you already are?

75 shares on TikTok this month:

Look, ice cream has eggs in it, therefore it is a breakfast food.

58 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sticking googly eyes on a potato and introducing him to everyone as my new boyfriend.

20 shares on X this month:

Evenings after work finish too quickly, one meal, one show, and it’s already tomorrow morning.

61 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Smoking will kill you. Bacon will kill you. Ironically, smoking bacon will cure it.

40 shares on X this month:

That friend who asks too many personal questions? He’s not concerned. He’s collecting.

45 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Pretty annoying when someone unfollows me before I can conduct their exit interview.

69 shares on Messenger this month:

Every time I wanna quit, I remember horses don’t stop.

47 shares on Facebook this month:

A diamond is forever, and so is my teen’s grudge against me for some random stuff every other day.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to run my brain through the dishwasher.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

Odd people reviewing a dessert: It’s not too sweet which is what I like.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

When I become president, any public holiday that falls on a Thursday automatically extends to Friday.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Where do they get the seeds to plant seedless watermelons?

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

If you’re thinking of becoming a parent, just imagine working 6,570 days straight without a day off.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

You can’t be everyone’s cup of tea, let them sip on their own bland brew.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

My New Year’s resolution is to be less presumptuous and rude to others. I’ll bet yours is to lose weight, isn’t it?

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

I was brought up in the wild by hyenas. Times were hard, food was scarce but we had some great laughs.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

I don’t need a midlife crisis. My whole life is a crisis.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

It’s always “you’re so cute when you’re mad,” until the house is on fire.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Your in his DMs, I’m on Etsy paying a witch to put a spell on him.

Live now on Messenger:

Doesn’t matter, Your Honor! I, for one, found it very funny.

Live now on Discord:

I only sleep so my phone can get the night off.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

If you don’t know how many x-rays it takes before a person develops super powers, should you really be in a medical profession?

Spotted on Messenger:

I’m already cold. I know me and my low iron ain’t gonna survive winter.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Set my sex robot to boyfriend mode and now it’s liking other girls’ pictures on Insta.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

The heels stay on during sex because I only painted the toe nails that were showing.

Making waves on Slack:

There should be a socially acceptable way to say, “I’m not sure what to say to that. Can you please say something different?”.

Breaking via Facebook:

I wish more modern politics were about trying to stop the fulfillment of an ancient prophecy.

Just shared via WeChat:

I’m not just a pretty face, I’m also a massive disappointment to my family.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny aloud quotes

New funny aloud quotes 👇

Sitting on the middle seat of this flight and both my seatmates are reading my book over my shoulder. Should I just start reading it aloud?

All funny aloud quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨