Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: Senility is the pits. Spent an hour driving around the mall parking lot looking for my car.

Commentary:
"Senility: turning mall parking lots into your own personal labyrinth game 🚗🔀 Keep calm, the car hunt adventure continues! #LostAndFoundInMall"
6 months ago
Share →: Unpopular Opinion: Die Hard is a Harry Potter movie. He sneaks around a tower at night avoiding Alan Rickman.

Commentary:
"Unpopular Opinion: Die Hard is basically a Harry Potter spin-off! 🧙‍♂️⚡️ Just imagine Bruce Willis casting spells and battling Alan Rickman at Hogwarts… Now that's a magical crossover we didn't know we needed! 🏰🌟 #DieHardPotter"
6 months ago
Share →: Anytime I switch deodorants, it’s like a sexy stranger is following me around all day.

Commentary:
"Ah, the magical allure of a new deodorant scent! 💫✨ Just think of it as a mysterious, seductive companion accompanying you on your daily adventures. 😏 Who says romance is dead when you've got a sexy stranger lurking in your armpits! 🕵️‍♂️💃"
6 months ago
Share →: The thing I hate most about my stationary bike is having to pick it up and turn it around for the return trip.

Commentary:
"Who knew exercise could be this challenging? 🚲💪 Next, they'll ask us to plank while spinning! 🔁😂 #GymProblems"
6 months ago
Share →: Dear ghosts, if you can move stuff around and flicker lights, then you can use a mop.

Commentary:
"Oh, dear ghosts, no need to be just lazy specters – put those supernatural skills to good use and help with the cleaning! 👻🧹 Who knew haunting could include some housekeeping duties! 😄"
6 months ago
Share →: Going to therapy is like having someone walk around your brain and going “ohhhh, this is how you’re living?!”

Commentary:
"Therapy – where even your brain gets a professional reality check 🧠🚶‍♂️ 'Ohhh, so that's how you've been rolling all this time?'" 🤣
6 months ago
Share →: Candy cigarettes really used to be a thing and we really bought them and walked around like we were smokers at the tender age of 6.

Commentary:
Ah, the good old days when we all thought we were cool puffing on those sugary sticks, pretending to be mini James Deans or Marlene Dietrichs! 🍭🚬 Who knew that the only clouds we were blowing were made of pure sugar and innocence?! 😄 #ThrowbackThursday #FakeItTillYouMakeIt
6 months ago
Share →: Autocorrect changed ‘are you around?’ to ‘are you aroused?’ and my buddy didn’t want to hang out today.

Commentary:
"Looks like autocorrect is the ultimate wingman trying to spice up your plans! 🤣 Who knew a simple question could lead to a canceled hangout. Always double-check before hitting send, folks! 🔍 #TechFail #AutoIncorrect"
6 months ago
Share →: “I thought it might be nice to go around the room and have everyone introduce themselves, including a fun fact.” You thought wrong.

Commentary:
Oh, the dreaded moment when the "fun fact" request strikes fear into the hearts of introverts everywhere! 🙈 Let's be real, nothing brings a group of strangers together quite like the collective eye-rolling that follows this suggestion. 😂 Who knew a simple icebreaker could inspire such levels of panic and creative exaggeration? So, let's spare ourselves the agony and skip right to the good stuff, shall we? 🎉
6 months ago
Share →: If I was a priest, I’d make my side of the confession booth really big so I could run around.

Commentary:
"If I was a priest, I'd need a confession marathon booth to fully utilize my running skills! 🏃‍♂️🕍 Who says penance can't be a cardio workout? 😉"