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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

“The only thing standing between you and your dreams is you!” Yeah, have you met me? That’s gonna be a problem.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Wiping my hands on my pants before I’m shaking someone’s hand, so they spend the rest of the day wondering what I just touched.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Damn, how much daylight are they trying to save? It’s dark as hell.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Are you just gonna go with the flow until you spiral down the drain?

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Amazing how fast my addiction to my phone is cured the moment I get a phone call.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Long-distance couples be like, “I can’t wait,” and then they wait.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

My favorite Christmas Eve tradition is the one where I tell my kids we have to get the house spotless, or Santa won’t come.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

When the executioner asks me what my final words are, I’m just going to start filibustering.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

My plan is to die young as late as possible.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

I’m experimenting with how many apples I need to eat a day to keep everyone away, whatever their profession.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,896

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via X:

This body is a temple; I suicide bomb every day.

Broadcasted on X:

Mambo No. 5, but it’s in a minor key, and I’m naming women who didn’t text me back.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Boxes of pasta don’t need a plastic window. I believe pasta is in the box.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I’m sorry I bit your hand when you reached for my popcorn.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Humanity doesn’t always make a compelling case for its continued existence.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Oh, I shouldn’t worry? Why didn’t I think of that?

Spotted on Threads:

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Prophecy class has been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I have the body of a god. Sadly, it’s Buddha after brunch.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

One minute you’re young and fun, the next you’re excited about a new vacuum cleaner.

Home » Funny Bad Quotes

240 Funny bad quotes

Funny bad quotes turn life’s little disasters and not-so-great moments into comedy gold! 😂💥 Whether it’s a bad hair day, a terrible decision made with full confidence, or just waking up on the wrong side of everything, these quotes remind us that sometimes the “bad” stuff makes for the best laughs. Because if it’s going wrong, you might as well laugh about it! 😆🚫🤷‍♀️

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For even more funny bad quotes, hit next 👇

All funny bad quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

21 shares on Telegram this month:

“Do you have any hobbies?” Lately, I’ve been really into panicking.

89 shares on Slack this month:

Plot twist: the universe is waiting for you to give it a sign.

40 shares on Messenger this month:

My name is Bob but my friends don’t call me.

30 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your credit card from your purse.

29 shares on Slack this month:

If you ever think English is not a weird language just remember that read and lead rhyme and read and lead rhyme. But read and lead don’t rhyme, and neither do read and lead.

38 shares on Facebook this month:

My one cat vomited her dinner and then the other cat went in and started eating it. And that, my friends, is what ChatGPT is to me.

75 shares on Telegram this month:

What is that job called where you put the little stickers on fruit? I think I would be good at that.

87 shares on Pinterest this month:

Those astronauts that just landed? They should be greeted by chimpanzees on horses.

83 shares on Instagram this month:

Why do moths eat sweaters? Have they tried sandwiches or avocados?

90 shares on WeChat this month:

A selfie only a mother could like.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

“Have AI summarize this email for you!” No thanks, I can read what the person actually said in the way they intended.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

My brain has too many tabs open.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Facing my uncle’s dreaded lightning bolt attack at the Thanksgiving dinner table.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Pirate: walks the plank. Someone’s dad: Is this teak?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

We should start referring to age as “levels.” So when you’re level 80, it sounds a lot cooler than just being an older person.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If I’m giving you attention, feel blessed. My real passion is ignoring people.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you know how much effort goes into looking this regular?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Are you http? Because I’m :// without you.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

A really good magician could be living in your house and you would never know.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

4,058

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Sometimes I’ll call in, disguise my voice, and insist on speaking to me, or I’ll take my business elsewhere.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

I only trust people who give off unemployable energy.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

I thought Game of Thrones was a pooping contest for men.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

My DNA came back saying I come from a wide selection of cheeses.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Old people be like, “No elbows on the table, it’s rude,” then say something racist.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Coolest part about starting a new job is the immunity to disease you get for 3 months till you get sick days.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

I’m at the stage in life where I stay out of arguments. Even if you say 1+1=5, you’re right. Have fun.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

They say the best things take time. That’s why I’m always late.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

I’m the kind of introvert who dodges phone calls but sends paragraphs in texts.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

“Bluetooth or Insane?” is a fun game we all play when we see a lone person speaking out loud in public.

Just landed via Discord:

I hope you catch the bouquet at my funeral.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

In case you wanna quit vaping, I’d suggest using a harmonica.

Just shared via Twitch:

Having to pay to read scientific and scholarly articles is a really disgusting and pathetic practice.

Just landed via YouTube:

“Are you seeing someone?” Like a hallucination, therapist, or a guy?

Broadcasted on Facebook:

There is no bigger lie than “fun for the whole family”.

Just shared via Slack:

Don’t interrupt me while I’m embarrassing myself.

Trending via X:

Find someone who looks at you the way I look at a cheeseburger.

Spotted on Slack:

(While my wife opens up her Christmas present) Remember when you said we needed milk?

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Unpopular opinion: we really grew up in the best era to be a kid, and the worst era to be an adult.

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