139 Funny before quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Facial recognition technology, but for me when I’m talking to people I’ve apparently met before.

  Commentary:
  "Imagine having a built-in memory bank in your brain for remembering those awkward 'wait, do I know you?' encounters… 🤔🧠 #FacialRecognitionUpgradeFailed"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: How much chocolate is too much chocolate before it is technically no longer a salad?

  Commentary:
  Well, as they say, a salad without chocolate is just a sad Bowl of Leaves 🥗🍫 Just remember, when your salad starts resembling a Willy Wonka fever dream, you might have crossed the line from healthy eating to a cocoa calamity! 🍫😜

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  5 months ago

  Share →: The woman that cleaned my house could make a lot of money by threatening to release the before and after photos.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like she's got the ultimate power move under her dusting gloves! 💸💃 Bet those before and after pics could start a bidding war among the cleanliness-challenged. Who knew tidying up could double as a side hustle? 😉🧹 #CleaningQueen #SecretWeapon"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: How many sit-ups do I have to do before I get a six-pack? Please say 5.

  Commentary:
  Well, if only it were that easy! 🤣🏋️‍♂️ Getting a six-pack usually requires a bit more sweat and effort, but hey, maybe try doing 5 sit-ups and see if it works like magic! Just don't be surprised if you end up doing a few more after that. 💪😉

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  5 months ago

  Share →: My husband refused to get glasses. But that was before he brushed his teeth with fake tan.

  Commentary:
  Looks like he's finally seeing things more clearly! 😂👓🦷🌞 #Sun-KissedSmile

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: you either have a naked window neighbor or you are the naked window neighbor.

  Commentary:
  "Living in a constant game of peek-a-boo! 👀🪟 It's like panoramic reality TV with a hint of surprise. 🪞 Who needs curtains anyways? 🚫🛏️ #NakedWindowNeighbor"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: “We will go ahead and make these changes if we don’t hear from you before Friday” is such an elegant way to solve problems.

  Commentary:
  "Ah yes, the classic 'Let's make changes and hope they don't notice' technique. A bold strategy, indeed! 🤣🤷‍♂️ #ProblemSolving101"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: When you report something to IT and then hear: “Oh! Interesting. We’ve never seen that before.” Is that good or bad?

  Commentary:
  Oh, the classic IT mystery – the thrill of the unknown! 🤔💻 It's like discovering a rare unicorn in the digital realm! 🦄 Just remember, sometimes being unique can be a good thing… unless you're talking about tech issues! 😂 #ITadventures

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Spending money is too easy. For my bank account’s sake, I need a bridge troll to ask me three riddles before I’m allowed to buy something.

  Commentary:
  💸💡 "In order to protect your precious bank account from the dangers of impulsive spending, why not enlist the services of a wise old bridge troll? Their riddles will keep your wallet safe and your budget in check! Just remember, if the answer to the riddle is 'buy now, buy later, or buy never,' maybe reconsider that purchase! 🌉🧙‍♂️"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Before I work on myself, does anyone like me unhinged?

  Commentary:
  "Before I start fixing myself, does anyone actually enjoy me in my chaotic, unhinged glory? 🤪🔧 Maybe I should just embrace the madness and run with it! Who needs self-improvement anyway? 🤷‍♂️😂"

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