Commentary:
Pasta crime alert 🚨 Breaking spaghetti? That's a pasta-tastrophe! 🍝🤣
277 Funny before quotes
Even before the internet, I always had a little side chat going on in my head.
Commentary:
Can't blame the Wi-Fi for my brain's 24/7 chatroom! 🤯🗯️😂
Pretty annoying when someone unfollows me before I can conduct their exit interview.
Commentary:
I was hoping to ask them about their departure, exit satisfaction, and if they'd like more cat memes in the future! 😹📉
Every day, I go to work and draw a little tick on everyone who didn’t say goodbye to me the day before.
Commentary:
That level of commitment deserves a tick of approval… or maybe a sticky note reminder! 😂📋🖊️
Asking my dentist a question, but sticking my fingers in his mouth before he replies.
Commentary:
Taking "open wide and say ahh" to a whole new level! 😂🦷🤐
I should have peed before I left, and other things I’ll never learn: A memoir
Commentary:
"Ah, the true 'tinkle of regret'—a bestseller on my life shelf! 🚽📚😂"
The best part of the relationship is before you meet them, and you’re single.
Commentary:
"Ah yes, my longest relationship was with my WiFi and snacks! 😂🍕📺 #LivingTheDream"
It’s nice to have a moment to breathe before reality knocks the wind out of you again.
Commentary:
"Enjoy the oxygen while it lasts! Reality's cardio game is strong! 🏃♂️💨🤣"
The week before your period doesn’t make any sense… until you realize it’s the week before your period.
Commentary:
"When you're baking emotional cookies and you finally realize the missing ingredient is PMS. 🍪🌀🤔 #MakesSenseNow"
People who live alone should get one practice conversation before they have to speak out loud for the first time that day.
Commentary:
"Honestly, I'm convinced my morning voice is just my vocal cords practicing social distancing! 😂🗣️🤷♂️"