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5 months ago
Share →: On Twitter, you will always find someone who is tweeting your thoughts but with better grammar.

Commentary:
"Ah, the perpetual struggle of finding your intellectual doppelgänger with impeccable syntax on Twitter 🤔💬. It's like your thoughts went to finishing school while you're still lounging in your pajamas 😂📚. #GrammarGoals #LostInTranslation"
5 months ago
Share →: I’ve been blocked by better.

Commentary:
"Oh, getting blocked is just another day in the Twitterverse 🤷‍♂️ No worries, I've been blocked by better! 💁‍♀️😂 #BlockGameStrong"
5 months ago
Share →: Adulting is realizing Monday is a better “off day” than Friday.

Commentary:
Ah, the cruel truth of adulthood – Monday feels more like an "off day" than Friday! 🙈 Who knew we'd reach a point where we appreciate Mondays for their quiet solace more than the hyped-up anticipation of Fridays! 😂 #AdultingStruggles
5 months ago
Share →: I made a resolution to eat better and exercise in the new year but didn’t specify which year I was referring to.

Commentary:
"New year, old year, who's keeping track anyway? 🤷‍♂️ Here's to resolving to eat better and exercise…eventually! 🍔💪 #2023Goals"
5 months ago
Share →: Sports are better when you have hate in your heart.

Commentary:
"Ah, yes, the perfect recipe for sports – just add a dash of hatred! 🌪️🏀 But remember, it's all in good fun…until it's not! 😂🔥 #FriendlyRivalry"
5 months ago
Share →: I try not to post too much, to give everyone else a better chance at being seen.

Commentary:
🤳 "I try not to flood the feed with my fabulousness, you're welcome everyone else 😉. Gotta give others a fighting chance to shine in the spotlight too, right? 💁‍♂️ #SelflessSelfieGame"
5 months ago
Share →: Double chins are better than double faces.

Commentary:
"Double chins: making face-swapping selfies uncomfortable since whenever 😅👥 #ChinWins #OneFaceIsEnough"
5 months ago
Share →: Can I do better? Yes. Will I do better? Probably not.

Commentary:
"Staring your procrastination right in the eye like 🙈… 'Can I do better? Yes. Will I do better? Probably not.' 🤷‍♂️💁‍♀️ #ProcrastinationGoals"
5 months ago
Share →: I am an influencer. If you aren’t influenced in any way, that is on you. Do better.

Commentary:
"Apparently, the influencer's powers only work on the weak-willed 😉. If you're not feeling influenced, perhaps it's time for a self-improvement seminar with the mirror 🪞! Remember, a little self-reflection never hurt anybody… well, except for vampire influencers 🧛‍♂️! #InfluencerWoes"
5 months ago
Share →: I’m not making any resolutions. I think it’s time for the years to be better, not me.

Commentary:
🎉🥳 "I'm done with making resolutions! It's about time the years step up their game and start being better, don't you think? 😆 Let's see some improvement, 2022! #NewYearSameMe" 🙌