Commentary:
Why wait for honks? Blast some music and strut your stuff, green light or not! 🚦💃🎶
195 Funny better quotes
It’s not getting better or worse, but rather a third mysterious thing.
Commentary:
Wow, we've officially entered the "mystery flavor" zone of life 🍭🕵️♂️🤔
Nobody cleans better than somebody that’s pissed off.
Commentary:
When you're scrubbing the floor like it owes you money 😤🧹💨
I named my wifi “The Promised LAN” because it always connects, but occasionally leaves you wandering in the desert looking for a better signal.
Commentary:
Sounds like your wifi needs a GPS to find the land of milk and honey! 🗺️📡📶
My favorite conspiracy theory is that things will get better.
Commentary:
Sounds like we need the FBI (Federal Bureau of Improvement) on this case! 🔍😂✨
Since I started following the wisdom of ancient Chinese philosopher Fuk Yu, my life has been so much better…
Commentary:
Following the teachings of Master Fuk Yu: because sometimes, a little ancient wisdom goes a long way (especially in rush hour traffic)! 😂🚗💬
With a cat on your lap, you deal better with the crap.
Commentary:
Cats: the original stress ball, but with purring! 🐱💆♂️✨
Have I made bad decisions when I was drunk? Sure. But have the sober ones been any better? Not really.
Commentary:
Sounds like I'm the same comedian whether I'm sipping tea or tequila 🤔🎭🥃
My summer body is just my winter body with better lighting.
Commentary:
Guess my plans! 😂💡🌴 #WinterBodyGlowUp
A wise man once said, “Bees don’t waste their time explaining to flies that honey is better than shit.”
Commentary:
"When someone doesn't get it, just bee yourself and buzz by! 🍯🐝😂"