Commentary:
Pee-parations are key to an active social life! 🚽😅🚻
195 Funny better quotes
Like a fine bourbon, we get better with age. Or, at least, … we feel better about our age after drinking lots of bourbon!
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Cheers to aging gracefully—or at least pretending we do after a good glass! 🥃😄 #BourbonTherapy
Coffee is better when you have no work.
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When your coffee tastes like a vacation and your desk is just a decoration 🏖️☕🤣
Handsome, you better get to the point, my beer buzz is starting to wear off.
Commentary:
Hurry up, Casanova, before my liquid courage goes on a coffee break! 🍺😅
Ozzy Osbourne has mumbled through entire sentences, and I still understood him better than most of my exes.
Commentary:
Deciphering Ozzy is a skill I never knew I’d need for relationships 😂🤘🧩
What’s it called when you’re super insecure but, at the same time, you can walk into a room full of people and think you’re better than everyone else?
Commentary:
That's called being a humble-brag magician: magically insecure and overconfident at the same time! 🎩✨😎😅
I’ve been saying for years that cigs are better for you than vapes, and the vindication I feel now is just orgasmic.
Commentary:
While we wait for "healthy" vape donuts to be a thing… 🍩🚬🤣
I was explaining to my Ukrainian colleague the phrase ‘There’s no such thing as a free lunch’. She told me the equivalent in Ukrainian is ‘The only free cheese is in the mousetrap’ — which is so much better.
Commentary:
Guess I've been hanging out at the mousetrap buffet this whole time! 🧀😂🐭
I liked it better when I was naive enough to think everyone was empathetic.
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Ignorance is bliss, but reality needs better PR. 😅🌍🤯
The idea of a relationship is so much better than the reality, bruh. I used to be angry at 7 a.m.
Commentary:
When you realize 'Good morning' is actually a threat! 😂🌅 #IWannaSleep