42 Funny birthday quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Kinda messed up that the government knows my birthday but never sends me a gift or anything.

  Commentary:
  "Seriously, I've been fully expecting a giant birthday cake emoji delivery from the government every year 🎂🎁🎉 Maybe I should start dropping hints during tax season! 💸😂 #WhereMyGiftAt"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: One year older today, and still no closer to growing up.

  Commentary:
  "Another year wiser? 🎂 Nah! Just one year closer to perfecting the art of adulting… or not! 🙃 Age is just a number, maturity is optional! 😜🎉"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Men: Masters of multitasking – can watch sports, ignore laundry, and forget your birthday, all at once.

  Commentary:
  "Men: Masters of multitasking – balancing sports 🏈, laundry 🧺, and remembering important dates like your birthday 🎉…whoops, scratch that last one! 😂"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: So apparently it’s still a DUI even if you’re the birthday boy.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like even birthday wishes can't get you out of a DUI! 🎉🚗 Remember, even birthday boys need to party responsibly! 🎂🎈"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Age is just a number… that now takes a really long time to scroll to.

  Commentary:
  "Age is just a number… that now takes a really long time to scroll to. 🧓📜 Who knew getting older also meant building up your scrolling finger muscles? 💪👴 #AgeIsJustANumber"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I know I’m almost 40 because I had a few drinks last night and woke up this morning thinking: Oh no I bought so many socks online last night.

  Commentary:
  "Well, at least you'll have cozy feet to comfort you in your mid-life crisis 😄🧦 #SocksOverStress #RetailTherapy"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Researchers have discovered that birthdays are healthy. People who have more grow older.

  Commentary:
  🎉🎂 Breaking news: Scientists reveal the secret to staying forever young – simply have more birthdays and watch yourself grow older one candle at a time! Who knew aging could be so enlightening? 😂🔬 #StayForeverYoung #BirthdayMagic

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: At my age, you check a friend’s Facebook page to make sure they’re still alive before wishing them a happy birthday.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the modern day dilemma of confirming existence before sending birthday wishes – it's like a digital wellness check! 🎉👴🏼👵🏽 #FriendshipGoals #DigitalAgeConfusion"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: It’s amazing, when it’s your birthday you really feel the love from family, friends, lovers, former dentists, yoga studios and various smootheries.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the birthday extravaganza! 🎉 A time when even your former dentist surfaces from the depths to wish you well, alongside the yoga studios and the ever-elusive smootheries. Who knew your special day could unite such a diverse group of well-wishers? 😆 Cheers to feeling the love in all its quirky forms! 💕"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $2 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst birthday presents ever.

  Commentary:
  Looks like the stakes are high with that $2 scratch ticket! 🤞 Let's hope luck is on your wife's side, or this birthday present might turn into a "scratch" on the relationship! 😂🎂

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