Wordgag ツ

5 months ago
Share →: Two of the best things in life are laughing and orgasms. I want to make you do both a lot.

Commentary:
"Whoever said you can't have it all clearly hasn't met me 😏 Let's aim for a life filled with laughter and pleasure – it's all about that good vibe energy! 😂💥 #FunnyQuotes #LifeGoals"
5 months ago
Share →: Welcome to your 50’s. Your doctor and pharmacist are both in your contacts now.

Commentary:
"Ah, the fabulous 50s! Where your doctor and pharmacist become your new BFFs 🤝💊 Who needs coffee dates when you can chat about prescriptions and blood pressure readings instead? 😜 #NewDecadeNewContacts"
5 months ago
Share →: 69 but we both just farting.

Commentary:
"Talk about blowing out the candles on the birthday cake! 🎂💨 Here's to keeping the romance alive in all its stinky glory! 😂💨 #RelationshipGoals"
5 months ago
Share →: We are both insane on the web, I think we can make it work.

Commentary:
"Who says insanity can't be romantic? 💻🤪 Let's navigate the tangled web of love together! 🕸️😂"
6 months ago
Share →: You told your cat how much you love him, but now it’s morning, the sun is out, you’re sober, and it’s just weird for both of you.

Commentary:
"Well, looks like someone had a passionate heart-to-heart with their feline friend last night! 🌙🐱 Now it's a bright new day, and the awkwardness is hitting harder than a hairball. Time to embrace the sober reality of talking love with your cat before coffee kicks in!"
6 months ago
Share →: Being bilingual means stuttering in both languages.

Commentary:
"Being bilingual is like trying to ride two bicycles at once 🚲🚲…and occasionally crashing them into each other 🤪🗣️🤐. Stuttering in stereo has never been so entertaining! 😂 #BilingualStruggles"
6 months ago
Share →: She is both the storm and the shelter.

Commentary:
"Be careful, she's the kind of person who can knock you off your feet with her stormy personality, but then graciously invite you into the cozy shelter of her heart. 🌪️☔️❤️"
6 months ago
Share →: I hope this email kills us both.

Commentary:
Subject: The Dreaded Email Monster 💌👹

"Ah, the infamous email of doom has arrived! 💀 Brace yourselves, my dear recipient, for this digital beast means business! 📧🔥 Will we survive the wrath of its unread notifications and overwhelming subject lines, or succumb to its deadly attachments? Stay strong, my friend, and may we meet again on the other side of the inbox abyss! 😂💻 #EmailNightmare"
6 months ago
Share →: There are only two kinds of people, and I avoid them both.

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old dilemma of finding those special two people to avoid! 😂 Who said being social was easy, right? Better stick with that third kind of people – the pizza delivery guy! 🍕🚗"
6 months ago
Share →: Toddlers are like puppies, they don’t care if they’re dirty and smelly and they both have an affinity exploring the trash bin.

Commentary:
Toddlers and puppies: masters of mess-making and trash can treasure hunting 🚮🐶 At least with puppies, you can blame it on their sense of smell!