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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Prophecy class has been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Don’t play with the feelings I barely have.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

The point of life is going to a good restaurant and getting two cocktails with dinner. That’s it.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Thinking of becoming the “where’s my hug” guy in prison.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Is it possible to die of horniness? Asking for a friend.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

The volume of my TV is 100% dependent on what I’m currently chewing on.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Today I broke my personal record for most consecutive days lived.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

If swimming is such good exercise, explain whales.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

I’m already sick of tomorrow.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

6 minutes ago

3,421

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

I hate when people ask me what I’m doing tomorrow, I don’t even know what I’m doing today.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I got my patience from waiting half the day to download a song from Limewire.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Maybe the reason you haven’t found your soulmate is because you don’t have a soul.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Any tips on being smart? For someone just getting into thinking.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

No dating apps this year. Just going to walk around and smile at people and send an occasional unhinged DM.

Spotted on YouTube:

If you inject Botox into a raisin, does it turn back into a grape?

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Nobody sighs louder than an unemployed, debt-free dog who spends at least 16 hours a day sleeping.

Trending via X:

Several of my internal organs hurt, but I’m 100% sure it’s not my body trying to tell me something.

Breaking via Discord:

I’ve never been cut in half by a magician, but I have worn jeans on Thanksgiving. Same thing.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

That gap in my resume is from when I was lost at sea.

Home » Funny Chop Quotes

Funny chop quotes

New funny chop quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: Why can’t Chinese restaurants chop the broccoli in their dishes? I feel like I’m trying to fit an entire bonsai tree into my mouth.

Commentary:
"Seriously, is there a broccoli convention going on in there or something? 🥦🪴🤔 #BroccoliOverload #BonsaiVsMouthStruggle"
6 months ago
Share →: Not to brag but I can chop an onion without crying. And I can cry without chopping an onion.

Commentary:
"Who needs tissues when you've got onion chopping skills like mine 💪🧅💦 Emotions? I'll take them straight up, no chopping required 😂🔪😢"
6 months ago
Share →: Maybe there’s an alternate universe where onions cry when they chop up humans, you don’t know.

Commentary:
🧅💧🔪 "In a parallel universe, onions shed tears as they slice through humans… Now that's a tear-jerking twist! Who knew veggies could have such strong feelings? 🤯😂"

For even more funny chop quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny chop quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

6 minutes ago

3,428

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

I’m trying to be awesome today, but I’m too exhausted from being so awesome yesterday.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Today I was in a taxi, and the taxi driver said, “I love my job. I am my own boss, nobody tells me what to do!” Then I said, “Turn left.”

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

90% of parenting is wondering when you can lie down again.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

If we were both crows, I’d bring you shiny things.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

If you want to make God laugh, inhale some helium then tell Him your plans.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Ladies, don’t date hungry guys. They’re just trying to get into your pantries.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

I know it’s true because the people on the internet said so.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side, my legs for always supporting me, and my fingers, because I can always count on them.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

I’m here by unpopular demand.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Fun fact: The confetti you’ll see in Times Square tonight was made from one CVS receipt.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Men make it so easy to hate them.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Sorry I’m late, my song came on at the grocery store.

Spotted on Messenger:

Almost fell asleep while putting on the sweater because it got dark for a moment. That’s all you need to know about my morning state.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I’m not alone. I have ants.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I’m a Leo so I just eat the other astrological signs.

Making waves on Instagram:

There must be an invisible mechanism on my book. Every time I open it, my husband starts trying to talk to me.

Broadcasted on Slack:

I like the concept of restaurant appetizers: “Bring me something to eat. And bring me something else to eat while I’m waiting.”

Just shared via Facebook:

Do you ever look into your cats eyes and realize that a person is inside there?

Just shared via Slack:

Democracy is a fine thing. The bad thing is that the stupid people are allowed to take part.

Just landed via Slack:

Imagine hearing the ice cream truck music, but at night.

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