Funny chop quotes

• Foreplay is great, I particularly like the part where I peel them, chop them into pieces, then roast them in the oven until they’re all crispy and delicious.

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  2 months ago

  chop, chopping, cooking, crispy, delicious, food, foreplay, great, humor, i, joke, oven, peel, peeling, pieces, roast, roasting, where

• Why can’t Chinese restaurants chop the broccoli in their dishes? I feel like I’m trying to fit an entire bonsai tree into my mouth.

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  2 months ago

  bonsai, bonsai tree, broccoli, challenge, Chinese, Chinese restaurant, chop, dining, dining experience, dishes, eating, eating challenge, experience, feel, fit, food, food joke, humor, i, joke, mouth, restaurant, restaurants, tree, trying

• Not to brag but I can chop an onion without crying. And I can cry without chopping an onion.

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  2 months ago

  brag, chop, cooking, cry, crying, emotions, humor, i, joke, onion, skill

• Maybe there’s an alternate universe where onions cry when they chop up humans, you don’t know.

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  2 months ago

  alternate, chop, cry, human, humans, humor, know, onion, onions, universe, where

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