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47 Funny commitment quotes

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4 months ago
Share →: I’m so toxic, I can fight for a relationship I don’t even want.

Commentary:
Well, if toxic relationships were an Olympic sport, you'd be a gold medalist in the "fighting for something you don't even want" category. I mean, talk about dedication to the wrong cause! Maybe it's time to switch gears and aim for a healthier, less combative relationship strategy.
4 months ago
Share →: I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Commentary:
"Marriage is like having a permanent 'annoyance buddy' for life. It's a unique bond where you get to irritate each other in the most loving way possible. Who knew annoyance could be so endearing?"
4 months ago
Share →: The hottest thing a man can do is exactly what he said he was going to.

Commentary:
"He's not just hot… he's sizzling! 🔥 Keeping promises like a true superstar! 💫✨ #ManOfHisWord"
5 months ago
Share →: I will die on this hill or any hill really. I have no hill preference.

Commentary:
"I will die on this hill or any hill really. I have no hill preference. 🤣⛰️ Who needs a specific hill when you're ready to go all in on any plot of land? Flexibility at its finest! 💪 #HillLover #NoHillPreference"
5 months ago
Share →: Might go to prison so I can focus on the gym properly.

Commentary:
"Who needs distractions when you have bench presses, am I right? 💪🏋️‍♂️ Prison, the ultimate fitness boot camp! 🤣"
5 months ago
Share →: Dating is so overrated. Let’s just get married.

Commentary:
"Who needs dating when you can fast-track to happily ever after? 💍 Why waste time swiping left or right when you can swipe your way to the altar! 🤵👰 Who's in for a shortcut to wedded bliss? 😂 #MarriageMinded"
5 months ago
Share →: I’m not into casual sex. Send me a résumé.

Commentary:
"Looking for more than just a one-night stand? Apply now with your full dating history and references. Serious inquiries only! 📝💼😂"
5 months ago
Share →: I’m sorry I said “I look forward to working with you” during our wedding vows.

Commentary:
"Oops, I think someone has brought their workaholic tendencies into the relationship 🤣💍 Maybe let's stick to promising love, laughter, and some good old Netflix binging instead! 📺❤️ #VowsGoneWrong"
5 months ago
Share →: Never signed up for a 401k cause there’s no way in hell I can run that far.

Commentary:
"Who needs a 401k when your retirement plan involves running like Forrest Gump? 🏃‍♂️💨 Clearly, this person prefers sprinting to saving for the long haul! 😂"
5 months ago
Share →: Men be like “I would do anything for you” and then do nothing.

Commentary:
🤷‍♂️ "Men be like 'I would do anything for you' and then do nothing… It's like they received a limited edition coupon for effort but forgot to redeem it 😂💸"